Why Being A Perfect Dad Doesn’t Make You A Good Dad
All over social media, parent bloggers are showing off their personal parenting styles and displaying their picturesque families. In general, the internet is flooded with advice, tips, and guides for how to parent correctly, each with conflicting views.
There's sort of a pressure to be a perfect dad, but I think that misses the mark.
What Does It Even Mean To Be Perfect?
Every child is different and has a unique set of interests, issues, and personality traits. That makes the concept of a "universal good parent" kind of impossible for anyone to achieve.
Online Bloggers Set Impossible Standards
It's important to note that online bloggers focus on the more positive aspects of their relationships with their children and try to airbrush over a lot of the actual struggles they're facing.
It's Also Their Full-Time Job
I'm not saying that blogging or being a full-time parent is easy, but it does mean that some of the difficulties involved in raising kids while managing a full-time job away from home are just non-existent for them.
Not To Mention Their Funds
Parenting bloggers, especially the very popular ones, are not exactly strapped for cash, and they can afford to buy all the latest technology and toys for their kids that most average parents can't.
It's Not Just Influencers...
Everyone on social media in general turns their profile into a highlight reel of their best moments and hides all the unpleasant parts of parenting and their imperfections as a family.
Striving To Be A Perfect Dad Isn't All It's Cracked Up To Be
It's a nice idea to want to be perfect, but it definitely will lead to burnout. In order to be perfect, you might end up refusing to meddle in the muddier, more difficult parts of the job.
Perfection Is About You, Not Your Kids
While you have a million comparison points for what a good dad should look like, your kids are getting their first impressions from you. Aiming to be perfect is more about your own feelings than theirs.
In Order To Be Perfect, You Can't Be Wrong
One of the hardest—but most important—things about being a dad is admitting that you were wrong about something, whether it was in an argument with your kid or a choice you made for them.
However, Being Wrong Is One Of The Best Things You Can Do
Fatherhood is a role where you learn on the job, but making mistakes and being wrong is how you learn to be better. Paying attention to your negative past actions and listening to your kids' reactions allows you to improve.
In Reality, You Can't Do It All
Trying to be a perfect dad takes a lot of energy and time as you attempt to always have quality time with your kids, go to every baseball game and recital, and also be a parent volunteer at school events while managing a job.
...You're Bound To Burn Out
As a parent, it's important to take time for yourself and also recognize your limitations, or else you're going to end up exhausted and might even resent your kids a little.
So What Makes A Dad "Good"?
As I stated earlier, all children are unique and have their own interests, personalities, and problems. I personally think that the hallmark of a good father is that he tries his best to help raise his kids into strong individuals.
A Good Dad Is Empathetic
It's easy to say, "I was once a kid, so I know what it's like," but I think really listening and trying to understand your children's situation from their perspective is one of the most important parts of being a parent.
A Good Dad Knows When To Put His Foot Down
It will make you seem imperfect in your kids' eyes for a while, but knowing when to put your foot down and be the bad guy is also is important to raising your kids into responsible, independent people.
I Think The Most Important Part It Just To Try
You're never going to reach perfection, and, unfortunately, you're bound to let your kids down. The important part is just to communicate with your children, apologize, and listen to their side of things.
Continuing To Try Means That You're Ready To Learn
The great thing about there being a million resources online is that you can look to others for guidance on how to tackle a specific problem your kid is having. Additionally, just trying to learn from your mistakes is huge.
A Good Father Breaks Through Past Stereotypes
We're in a world that's destroying past stereotypes about gender, and that requires us as fathers to be more understanding of these changes and embracing them. It's all about making your child comfortable with being themselves.
As Fathers, We Have A Lot Of Work To Do
We were raised one way by our fathers, who were raised a certain way by their fathers, and both generations were likely focused on more traditional concepts of fatherhood, where the father is seen as a "breadwinner" and a rock who didn't show emotion. We inherited a lot of those ideas.
...But It's Worth It
It's our job as dads to overcome those archaic notions and to really support our kids. We have a chance to redefine fatherhood with compassion, listening, and acceptance of our kids, no matter who they are as individuals.
At The End Of It All, Our Kids Will Be The Judges
At the end of it all, it doesn't matter if you think you're a perfect or good dad, because the final verdict comes from your kids. As fathers, we just need to keep trying our best and hoping we do right by our kids.
