Mom With Fourth Child Calls Out Shamers Who Criticize Big Families
The family unit has taken many shapes and forms since the days where the nuclear family was the only option. Today, it seems like we have the choice of who we have children with and if we want to have children at all. While on the surface level that's true, it doesn't mean that certain choices aren't still judged.
People will always have an opinion, but when it came to pregnancy shamers, this mother of four wasn't going to let their criticism affect her choices.
Four Under Four
Meet Anna Strode, the self-made mommy blogger of four children who are all under four years old. Her socials reflect her love for fitness, health, and, of course, her children.
She has built her platform to speak on motherhood, start her own activewear line for breastfeeding and pregnant moms, as well as to share pregnancy and postpartum workout videos.
With Fame Comes Responsibility
Unfortunately for Anna, being in the limelight came with its price. While many mothers looked up to her and felt inspired by her journey, others didn't agree with her decision to start a big family.
As her #FourUnderFour hashtag started to trend—on the occasion of her pregnancy with a fourth child to add to a set of twins and another child all under four—the backlash also started.
It Caused Her To Need To Get Off Instagram
When Anna first shared that she was pregnant with her fourth child, she was so overwhelmed with the backlash that she stayed off Instagram for a while.
Upon her return, she explained to her followers: "Over the past 7 months, I have been criticized, judged, and blatantly questioned why we have chosen to have another baby."
People Worried About The Kids Being Too Close In Age
Anna explained that her socials were flooded with comments and inbox messages with criticism and comments such as "Wow, surely you're not pregnant AGAIN," or straight-up telling her to stop having children.
Some expressed concerns that the mother wouldn't be able to enjoy and properly love her children because they are all too close in age.
Some Assumed She Was Against Contraception
There were some users who asked Anna if she knew about contraception and how to use it. To them, she responded, "To be clear... Yes—I do believe in contraception, I was on it for manyyyyyy years. YES this baby WAS planned. We actually tried for a few months before successfully falling pregnant."
She made it clear this baby was her choice and not an accident.
It's What She Always Wanted
In fact, four children is what Anna always wanted. She expressed that four was a number she had in mind for as long as she can remember as she always dreamed of having her kids all be close in age.
She felt lucky that she was married to a man who shared that same dream.
She Never Imagined It Would Cause Backlash
Anna never imagined that sharing her exciting news would elicit so many critiques. She never asked anything of them.
"I never imagined that doing what my hubby and I wanted to do, would upset so many people or affect them in any way. I mean, I don't understand why us having another baby would worry anyone so much?"
Other Moms Shared Her Feelings
Not everyone was against Anna. Other moms with three or more kids had lived similar experiences.
"I have 3 kids and I would love another one. I hear things the same as you like 'get on birth control' and 'why have another one' and 'isn't 3 enough?!' ...Babies are blessings and so beautiful we should celebrate it," echoed her follower queenbeewilson1989.
Average Cost Of Raising A Child In The U.S.
People's concerns weren't all meant to simply shame Anna. Raising one kid is expensive, let alone four. It could limit their lifestyles and opportunities.
According to statistics, the average cost of raising a child from birth through age 17 is $233,610.
Some See It As A Privilege
Due to the costs, some consider the choice of having a big American family to be a privilege not everyone can afford. Plus, some see it as taking away from the children who are already alive and struggling in poverty or famine.
Some would rather see those resources invested in the children who had no choice in being here.
She Decided Not To Give The Shamers Her Energy
Anna has decided to not pay any more attention to the shamers after calling them out: "I've decided some people are just negative and that's that...you can't please everyone."
She doesn't bother to call them out anymore. Instead, she continues to share loving images with her family with captions like, "People often tell us that we must be 'mad' for the road we have chosen, but I think the way we have done things is nothing short PERFECT."
