Mom Told She’s ‘Controlling’ For Refusing To Let Daughter To Get A Makeover
Parenting comes with its own set of challenges. We vow not to repeat our parents' mistakes with our own children, only to find that we're making our own. Every new experience is an opportunity to reflect on our own upbringing so we can become better parents.
For this parent, it wasn't until her daughter asked her to get her makeup done that she realized why she couldn't allow it.
It Was Anna's 5th Birthday Party
Maisie, the daughter, was invited to her classmate "Anna's" 5th birthday party. This party was dance-club-themed.
The birthday party was set up with various fun-filled stations for the kids such as build your own cupcake, make your own crayons, make your own clay sculpture, finger painting, etc.
One Of The Stations Was Hair And Makeup
One of the stations was full-on glam professional party makeup. In fact, Anna's parents had hired three professional stylists to give the girls a makeover.
They could even choose to dye their hair with temporary dye and clip-in extensions for curls.
The Makeup Station Required Parental Consent, Which Maisie Didn't Get
When Maisie asked her mom for consent to get her makeup and hair done, her mom said no and tried to explain why.
She says that Maisie understood and got distracted by her friends and the music right away, and forgot about it. It seems as though she still enjoyed the party and went home feeling happy.
Maisie Was Always Fascinated By Makeup
Maisie, like most kids, enjoys playing dress-up and having fun with her toys. Her mother describes her as a "girly girl." She says her daughter has always been curious about makeup.
Maisie often gets gifted kid-friendly makeup sets and asks to play with them, but her mother won't allow it.
The Mom Wants To Wait Till Maisie Is Old Enough To Discuss Makeup
The mom has concerns about makeup up and the beauty industry. She wants to be able to explain them to her daughter before she uses them.
"When Maisie is a teenager, she and I will discuss makeup and how to use it properly and when I believe she's mature enough to wear it and not let beauty define her I will let her wear it. And, once she's 18 she can do whatever she wants," she explained in a Reddit thread.
The Mom Is Trying To Avoid Her Parents' Mistakes
The mom explains that it's because of her parents' actions when she was little that she won't allow her own daughter to play with makeup.
"When I was a kid my parents messed up my self-confidence and self-worth by convincing me the only way I'd ever find love or success was if I was pretty."
Her Parents Taught Her She Had To Change Her Appearance To Please Others
The mom explains she underwent many beauty procedures growing up because of her parents."At 8 my mom started perming my hair. By 13 I was getting highlights. By 14 she was having my brows waxed.
"At 16 she convinced me I needed a nose job or the boys would never like me. Around 15 she was reminding me to wear lipstick and something pretty in case any boys saw me."
She Based Her Self-Worth On Being Pretty
The mom is doing her best to protect her daughter from feeling like her worth is dependent on a standard of beauty. She's still dealing with the repercussions.
"For years I defined my own worth based on whether or not I was pretty. It took years to repair that damage. I swore I'd never do that to my kids."
Other Parents Called Her "A Helicopter Mom"
When the other parents found out that Maisie didn't get consent for the beauty station at the party, they labeled her mom as "some crazy helicopter mom who is trying to control her kids."
The parents felt like Maisie should've gotten to experience the makeover just like all her friends at the party.
Even Maisie's Dad Thought It Was Excessive
When the word made it to the dad, he also thought it was controlling.
He tried to explain to his wife that although Maisie doesn't need makeup every day, she could've just washed it off after the party.
Parents Don't Always Know Best
Many agreed that there is a line to balance between a parent knowing what is best for their child and making a big deal out of nothing.
Someone advised that she could instead teach her daughter "that makeup is just for fun and that she absolutely does not need it to look or feel pretty."
After Self-Reflecting, The Mom Realized Her Mistake
It took some time, but the mom came to understand that she was projecting her own trauma onto Maisie in an unhealthy way. She decided to work with a therapist to work on herself.
She even ordered makeup kits for kids: "When it gets here, Maisie and I will spend an evening with the TV off, phones off, learning about makeup and also how beauty can make us feel powerful and confident."
