Dad Shares The Moment He Realized The Over-Sexualization Of His Daughter
Girls in general tend to be sexualized from a young age, which can be a very terrifying thing to come to terms with as a parent. As much as you want to protect them from it, it's pervasive in our society, sometimes in very shocking way.
One dad shared the horrifying moment he realized that sexualization for girls started right after birth.
It Started With A TikTok
This one woman on TikTok asked people to share stories about when they realized that the sexualization of girls and women actually started much earlier than one would think.
Many people responded, but one dad really stood out.
There Are Lots Of Little Ways That Sexualization Happens Early
For example, even from a young age, some people will ask parents if their small child has a boyfriend or girlfriend.
Meanwhile, the baby doesn't even know how to control its own bowel movements.
For One Dad, Clothing Was The First Place He Noticed It
Michael is a father to a 14-month-old little girl, but he said the first time he noticed the sexualization was right when she was born.
He was shopping for onesies when he came across one that shocked him.
One In Particular Suprised Him
While shopping, he stumbled across a onesie that said, "Sorry, boys. Dad says no dating" on the front of it.
He was horrified to even think about why someone would bring up dating in relation to a newborn baby.
It's Not Just The Phrases
Sure, there was a wide range of slogans on shirts that spoke to weirdly sexualizing baby girls as dating prospects or heartbreakers, but it didn't end there.
Michael noticed features of clothes for baby girls were oddly grown-up.
He Pointed To The Design
Michael mentioned how clothing for baby girls was always hyperfeminine in the way it had excessive glitter or ruffle features on it.
These things are pretty useless to a small child—in fact, they can get in the way of the baby playing.
He Noticed Sizing Discrepancies
Despite newborn girls and boys being the same size, Michael noticed that the clothing made for baby girls was often smaller and more closely fit.
It's already problematic for adult women, but very concerning that this also happens for infants.
Some Was Just Straight Up Impractical
Michael also spoke about how strange it is that baby girls are also given clothing items that are normal for adult women, like leggings.
He pointed out how little sense it makes to have to shove baby legs into fashionable leggings after each diaper change.
The Features On Boys Clothes Just Make More Sense
Michael went on to explain that he buys boys shorts for his daughter because they're longer and more practical for a baby to wear.
He just was so disgusted with the way that, even as infants, little girls are oddly sexualized in their clothing options.
People Were Quick To Agree
The issue lies in the way that little girls' clothing is fashioned to mimic that of a grown woman, which is wildly inappropriate. There's no need for a toddler to wear a bikini at the beach.
All in all, Michael called for more functional, gender-neutral clothing for babies.
Dad Shares Why He Takes His Daughter To The Women's Bathroom For Her Safety
There is always something about being a parent that seems a little more complicated than it should be, and that's taking your kids to the bathroom. Not all bathrooms are equipped for parents, and that makes it hard.
To add to that, some parents don't feel comfortable taking their kids to the men's bathroom
Muhammed Nitoto Runs The Instagram "Chronicles Of Daddy"
On it, he shares all the ups and downs of being a parent and the joy that it brings him.
He's always candid about the things that he learned the hard way and the unexpected ways his life changed when he became a parent.
One Of Those Ways Was How He Looked At Using The Bathroom
In an Instagram post that has made its way around Facebook and the parenting blogs, Muhammed Nitoto talks about why he takes his daughter into the women's bathroom. He feels it's safer and cleaner, both of which are likely true.
He explains that he always makes sure he's being respectful of the women who might already be in the bathroom or who are coming into the bathroom by telling them he's there.
The Instagram Comments Are Overwhelmingly Supportive
There were moms in the comments saying that they would have no problem seeing a dad taking his daughter in the ladies' bathroom. They know better than anyone how frustrating it can be.
Almost all the people thought it was a good idea and were thankful that he made sure he announced that he was there.
It brought up the conversation around gender-neutral bathrooms and how this is another reason why they're a good idea and should be implemented.
Many people in the comments brought up the issue that men's bathrooms should be better equipped with changing tables in more private areas.
There Needs To Be More Talk About Changing Tables In Men's Washrooms
While there seems to be one in every women's washroom (and rightly so), there's a lack of these changing tables for their male counterparts.
Most dads will tell you that there have been strides made to ensure that men's washrooms also have changing tables, but there still isn't enough conversation about it. Donte Palmer took to his Instagram to show the reality of what happens when establishments lack change tables in both bathrooms.
The Lack Of Tables Has A Ripple Affect
The reality is, more dads are taking on baby duty.
When women's bathrooms are the only places with change tables, it makes the process of changing diapers very difficult and, quite frankly, disgusting for fathers.
This doesn't just affect single dads or dads who are taking their kid out for a day on the town. It also forces moms into having to do all of the changing.
So, Donte Palmer decided to take a stand.
"It's As If We Don't Exist"
Donte Palmer posted a picture of how he changes diapers and it had some parents shaking their heads in unified frustration.
He wrote, "this is a serious post!!! What's the deal with not having changing tables in men's bathrooms as if we don't exist!!!"
He goes on to say that it's horrible that his son has gotten comfortable in this situation because he has to do it so much.
Palmer is having to balance his kid while also doing some ninja squats.
He's Been Having To Do This For Years
Even though Palmer looks pretty comfortable in this situation (once again, because it's not new territory for him to be in), he makes a point that so many fathers want to make.
The father of three has been doing this for years, and while he says that he's starting to see more tables pop up in men's rooms, there isn't nearly enough.
There have been times that Palmer and his oldest son, who's 12, had to take the youngest to the washroom and tag-team the changing process.
As you can imagine, that's a lot to ask of a 12-year-old.
Many Fathers Are Willing To Step Up To The Plate
Palmer says that fathers have never really had to worry about doing the "dirty work" of taking care of their kids, but those times are changing.
He went on to say, "At times, society complains about the presence of fathers not being involved but in all actuality, there are a ton of fathers willing to step up to the plate."
He makes a compelling point about the changing times and gender roles that we expect.
There are a lot of fathers in the world who wish they could do more but don't have the means to do it.
Bringing It Into The Public Conversation
Why should it be on the mom to always be responsible for changing the baby?
The problem is systemic, and if restaurants and shopping malls are willing to make sure that men have the option of doing the changing comfortably, it would be a big step forward.
Men are just as capable of taking care of their children's needs, but making them squat and balance against a wall to do it seems quite ridiculous.
We thank Donte Palmer for bringing this topic into the public conversation.
More And More Dads Are Sharing Their Stories
Social media platforms like Instagram and Facebook have made it easier for parents to spread the word and bring this to our attention.
Stories like these keep going viral, and for a good reason. Another dad who shared his frustration online was Chris Mau.
Chris Mau Wrote On Social Media About His Experience
Chris posted on Facebook about an experience he had at a "restaurant with a kid's play place." His daughter needed changing, and he thought that this place would be well equipped for him to change his daughter.
When he walked in to the bathroom, he could not have been more disappointed.
He wrote an article for the parenting website "Love What Matters." He told the story about what happened to him and how he was sure it was happening to other dads.
He said what we are all thinking, how is this something that is still going on?
We Need To Do Better
We know that this is a widespread issue. We need more changing tables for men's bathrooms.
We also need to be more accommodating to dads who are just trying to do the right thing, even if that means using the woman's bathroom as long as they are respectful, of course.
What Do You Think About These Stories?
Have you or anyone you know experienced anything like this?
Many of us have been in gross public bathrooms, but how many of us have struggled with changing our kids in these bathrooms? How do you think we can change things?
