Dad Body-Shames His Daughter On Her Birthday And Gets Called Out
Young girls go through a lot of body changes, including weight fluctuations. While adapting to that, their whole identity is affected. All it takes is one negative comment about their appearance for them to struggle with their self-esteem.
While this dad was trying to protect his daughter from being overweight, what he did on her birthday could have been more scarring than helpful.
The Dad Worries His Daughter Is Overweight Already
In his Reddit post, he wrote: "My daughter is overweight. Not anything too drastic, but she is around 5'4" and 155 pounds. So she could stand to lose a few pounds. I’ve been concerned about her weight for a long time."
For the record, most health guidelines agree that a 5'5 female weighs between 114–149.5 pounds on average.
He Blames His Overweight Wife
The dad doesn't specify his wife's height or weight ratio. However, he does claim that he feels as though his daughter's weight was enabled by his wife, who he says is also overweight.
He mentions that the mother often sides with her daughter's choices.
He Took His Daughter On A Hike On Her Birthday
The daughter's birthday was on August 19th, in the height of the heat of summer. The dad decided for her that they were spending the day by going on a hike in the state forest.
The daughter clearly would've preferred spending her birthday doing something else, as he says that she complained about it literally the entire time.
The Dad Thought She Needed The Exercise
Throughout the hike, the daughter expressed that she was hot, didn't like the incline, and was bothered by the mosquitoes.
The dad felt like he was doing her a favor by encouraging her to push through. "I think she was satisfied with having exercised at the end of it," he says.
They Drove Past A Dunkin' Donuts On The Way Home
On the drive back home, they were passing a Dunkin' Donuts. The daughter asked if they could stop for a "birthday donut." The dad said no.
"She was upset about it, saying she just wanted a donut and she'd just done this long hike to please me on her birthday."
The Dad Worried The Donut Would Cancel Out Their Hike
The dad tried to calmly argue that she wouldn't want to undo all the work of the hike by getting a donut.
The daughter tried to convince him that a donut only counts around 350 calories and could fit into her day. The dad continued to refuse as she would also be eating cake later.
The Mom Pointed Out That Birthdays Can Be Exempted From Preaching Health
The daughter was upset the whole ride back. So when she got home, she vented to her mother, who sided with her.
The mother felt that their daughter's birthday "shouldn’t be a time I’m preaching healthy eating."
Dunkin' Donut Calories And Damaging Effects
A quick check on Dunkin' Donut's nutrition charts shows that the daughter was right and, in fact, a donut averages around 300 calories.
However, birthdays are a day of celebration and can be made an exception. Plus, teaching a girl to count her calories can lead to damaging eating disorders and an unhealthy relationship with food.
The Dad Thought He Was Protecting His Kid
The dad felt right in his actions: "I am trying to protect her health at every turn, when she spends most of her free time with her mother. Am I really the jerk for not wanting to stop and get her a fatty donut after a nice hike?"
However, not many sided with him.
Some Felt That He Didn't Factor In Any Of His Daughter's Feelings
One person commented "On her birthday, you forced your daughter into an activity I suspect you knew she would not enjoy, and then denied her a 75 cent treat. Beyond that, you didn't even pretend you took the hike for time together, or—God forbid—her enjoyment; you made it clear that your focus for this event was getting her to exercise."
Maybe a hike would be good for her health all other days of the year, but her birthday was an opportunity to make her feel special and good in her own body.
The Intention Could've Been Executed Better
It's not that he's a bad father, but most agreed that he could take care of her health differently. Another person commented:
"This is completely the wrong way to go about helping someone lose weight. One hike is not going to make a difference in the larger picture of health, but this memory is going to be burned into her brain. Health and weightloss is an ongoing lifestyle change and one doughnut has ZERO impact on her weight."
Many Even Related To Being Ashamed Of Their Bodies
Some of those who were considered "overweight" in their teens remembered how hard it was to navigate their relationship with food.
Someone even said, "My parents withholding something like a doughnut only drove me to eat in secret and form unhealthy habits such as binge eating."
