Parents Know The Struggle Of Holding Their Kids Back From Eating This Stuff
Pink insulation is not cotton candy. Now yell that from the rooftop for the four-year-olds in the back who didn't quite hear that. When you signed up for family life you thought it was only going to be the dog's mouth you were reaching into to pull stuff out of. Well, turns out it's your kids too.
Maybe it started with Tide Pods, or maybe we're just a culture that has a lot of things that look alike. Either way, a parent's biggest struggle until the end of time is holding their kid back from eating plastic. Check out these not-foods that kids love.
American Cheese Will Never Divide Us, But These Might
Despite what you think, American cheese isn't actually considered cheese. It's less than 51% cheese so it can't legally be called cheese. That terrifying fact is why this not-food actually might be pretty close to its food lookalike.
This stack of cheese is actually a bunch of plastic storage bin dividers for a lab. Just because it's basically made of plastic like its food cousin doesn't mean your kid should test the waters and reach for a slice to put between bread. Or, you should at least nibble it before they do.
This Ravioli Soup Might Ribbit On The Way Down
So technically you can eat frogs. Frog legs apparently taste like chicken according to all sources, but do they taste like ravioli soup and guacamole? Hopefully not, that would be horrifying.
These two bowls of colorful food are actually Pacman frogs. The big bowl of hot and ready ravioli soup is the female and the small guac on the side for $2 is the male. If you're scared of the three-year-old in your house eating the pets instead of Boyardee maybe buy them some regular green frogs.
These Toblerones Were Made For Walking
We've all been hungry on the job. Maybe the oatmeal you ate at 6 am just didn't fill you up and now it's 10:30 and you're starving but can't eat. So what do you do? Throw yourself into your work of course, just like this men's shoe designer.
Except maybe he shouldn't have because now this Toblerone sole monstrosity is here. He even got the almond crumble in there perfectly. Imagine having a chocolate bar as your muse. Honestly, all of us snack lovers already do.
This Tortilla Isn't On White Bread, It's On Crisp Eggshell Alabaster White Bread
If you run out of tortillas what are you going to do? Why skip the store, of course, and head on down to your garage where there are cans of tortillas waiting for you. Oh, you don't like the smell? You must not be used to artisan bread.
It's crazy that this isn't a tortilla. Besides the smell and the can, this thing is a very believable tortilla. It's so believable, your kids should hold off on grabbing more tortillas from the freezer if it's in the garage where you keep the paint.
Ah, The Ye Olde Faithful Tide Pod
We had to do it. We had to throw this on the list. Does it look like candy like people say it does? No. But do you have experience swatting it out of your kid's hand after they watched six YouTube videos of people eating them? Oh yes, you do, super parent.
This is the forbidden food that started it all. Sure, these other things look like food and tempt kids, but nothing quite did it like Tide Pods. It doesn't help that Costco set up a snack station for America's favorite soap.
These Forbidden Hershey's Kisses Will Crack Your Teeth In Half
Hershey's is always coming out with new flavors and colors for their kisses - like Mint Truffle or Cherry Cordial. So it's not weird if they made one called "Gold," right? A dog or a tiny human would agree with that.
These paint color samples would definitely taste no good and really do some dental damage, but they do open up new avenues for Hershey's chocolate flavors. Charcoal Grey could be an interesting marketing stunt. But Bronze might actually have some staying power. You're welcome for the ideas Hershey's.
Pink Cotton Candy Never Tasted So Much Like Home Improvement
This is another old culprit that's been tempting children for years -- the fabled wall cotton candy. Why go outside and find a carnival when you can eat the cotton candy that comes free with the house? We can all probably think of a few good reasons.
We all remember being kids and going to the attic where we saw oodles of the stuff for the first time and were mesmerized. That is, before our moms yelled at us not to touch it and we realized it's probably poisonous.
Craftsman Brand Twizzlers For The Handyman Who Loves To Snack
If you have your kid helping you do anything in the shop, chances are you might want to ask them to not eat any of the stray Twizzlers they find laying around because they might be precut lines. Just a thought.
These look so much like mini Twizzlers it's insane. Sure, they say "caution: cancer and reproductive harm" on the package, but don't all Twizzler packages say that? Modified corn starch is pretty much the same thing as a wire.
Cheddar Cheese That Will Clean Your Laundry Too
Next time you're at the deli, have them cut you off a hunk of the good aged smoked stuff from a block of laundry stain remover. Your mac n cheese will never taste worse but never perform better in your washing machine. Plus if you spill some on yourself, there's no stain!
This laundry bar might be where the Tide Pods inventors got their product inspiration. It may look old fashioned, but chances are there have been hundreds of kids daring each other to eat it for decades.
Watercolor Paint Or Fancy Chocolate? Only The Color Of Your Next Bowel Movement Will Tell
Here's another product designer who no doubt got hungry on the job. Maybe they were working late burning the midnight oil thinking of watercolor paint display case designs when they began to crave fancy chocolate? That's probably why this happened.
This would be the exact thing that will entice your kid. They see you eating fancy nighttime chocolates and they'll want the same experience for themselves. Get ready because you're going to have to hide your paints now, of all things.
These Mentos Aren't Meant For Consumption
Cleaning products often have the strange characteristic of looking exactly like food and drink products. The weirdest part is that these are the exact things you should not be consuming. We've heard blue Windex does not taste like blue Gatorade and will not replace your electrolytes.
These Mentos are another forbidden food that should definitely not be touched by anyone except the janitor replacing them. Because they're urinal cleaners. If you bring your kid to the bathroom you're probably going to have to repeat that sentence at least 10 times.
Big Granola For Your Wall
Look, we know granola tastes and looks like sawdust, but this comparison is just too close for comfort. The creators of Nature Valley Oats 'n Honey bars definitely work in an office surrounded by corkboards. Just usually you're supposed to post inspiration on them and not look to the board itself for inspiration.
Now you have to worry about your kid chewing on the corkboard, as if you didn't already have enough to worry about. Maybe switch to the chocolate granola bars for their school lunches for now because there are no corkboards that look like those. Yet.
Delicious Cheesecake You Can Build A Couch Out Of
Food supports us, helps us do our daily tasks, and provides comfort when we need it most. Sound familiar? It should, because couches do the same things for us. Just, normally couches don't look like our sustenance.
This cheesecake-looking sofa section looks both comfortable and delicious. Luckily, your child will never know that it exists unless you start tearing your furniture apart. In that case, just wait for them to leave the room before you start doing any major refurbishing.
Cheese That Will Moisturize Your Insides
The luxury soap and body products store Lush is the biggest guilty party when it comes to making inedible stuff that looks like food. You can't walk two steps into their store without seeing a bath bomb that looks like a strawberry or a piece of sushi. Yeah, it's cute until your kid starts treating your bathroom like an All-You-Can-Eat Buffet.
This Queen Bee hair honey product is just out here looking like straight-up cheese. The weirdest part is that this product is made with a ton of cocoa butter and honey so that's what it would probably taste like.
Frozen Burgers That Bring The Heat, And Not In A Good Way
Don't go to a backyard cookout and ask Jim to throw one of these on the BBQ for you, no matter how good and hearty they look. Instead of cooking, these things will catch fire and ruin everything on there. That's a major cookout faux pas.
It's so weird that they made these fire discs look like the things that they might be cooking. We can't think of a better way to literally encourage kids and pets to eat poison. Maybe stick to marshmallows this camping trip.
Fungal Flapjacks Are The Last Thing You'd Order At Denny's
Mushrooms are among the strangest things on Earth. The whole concept of growing by eating decaying matter is already weird enough, but their colors, shapes, and sizes really take the cake in the strange department. Or in this case, the pancake.
Don't let your kid convince you that these are pancakes they found in the woods mysteriously because they're not. Besides probably being poisonous, these things look like they're plain flavored. Yuck. At least throw some chocolate chips in there.
These Gum Balls Will Break Teeth And Your Neighbor's Window
You know what things shouldn't look alike? Gumballs and slingshot ammo. But do you know what does and also has the same 12-year-old customer base? Gumballs and slingshot ammo. Hopefully, a kid doesn't spill both their gum collection and their glass ammo collection on the floor at the same time.
This glass slingshot ammo is the perfect reason you needed to switch your family over to strips of gum. They're cooler, they have better bubble-blowing potential, and the 5 Gum commercials make it seem like they'll freshen up your entire life.
Mosquitoes Hate This Applejuice
Don't you hate it when applejuice doesn't do the mosquito repelling that it promises and it ends up attracting more bugs than repelling them? Actually, you probably don't since nobody has ever had this problem. Until now.
If it wasn't for this label then this citronella jug would be unmistakable for a family size of applejuice. Luckily no kid is dumb enough to ignore the smell and drink it anyway right? Maybe they should childproof this lid.
Sleep Through Anything With Baby Carrots In Your Ears
The first time you saw these earplugs you definitely thought the same thing that we all thought -- that these things look suspiciously like baby carrots. The worst thing is waking up in the morning and seeing them in your bed and on the floor and in your half-asleep and confused state wondering what a crazy carrot party you had last night for this to happen.
Kids and pets will always try and put these in their mouths. Always. It doesn't matter if they're used and taste like earwax, they'll do it anyway. Just another one of those joys of parenting.
Mmmm Who Knew Stress Balls Were Stuffed With Feta?
Let's face it, the only reason we all love Greek salad so much is because of the combination of feta cheese, olives, and tomatoes on leafy greens. Actually, hold the olives, tomatoes, and lettuce. Just get a side of feta with every meal and you're basically eating the same thing.
Stress balls are apparently packing little emergency stashes of the deliciously sour cheese and we couldn't be happier. Save it all for yourself by telling your kid it's plastic. It's not plastic, right?
