Moms Set Boundaries With Their Parents To Ensure There’s No “Toxic Overstepping”
Most modern-day parents, like Princess Audia Reggie and Lisa Pontius, are firm believers in setting boundaries in all of their relationships.
They believe setting boundaries helps relationships so that no one, especially their parents, is overstepping and creating a toxic environment. As it turns out, many people agree with them.
"My House, My Rules!"
We've all heard parents say, "My house, my rules." So when we're adults and have our own house, we expect our parents to follow our rules because it's our house.
But sometimes, it's a struggle because a healthy boundary hasn't been set.
Lisa Pontius Sets Boundaries
Lisa Pontius is a popular parenting advice influencer who firmly believes in setting boundaries in any and all relationships that someone has.
Specifically, setting mutual boundaries with her parents and in-laws.
"Respect My Boundaries"
She explains that she isn't saying, "you can never see my kids" to her parents.
What she is saying is, "You get to see my kids because you respect my boundaries."
Mutual Boundaries
And Lisa's parents have set boundaries with her as well.
They have set mutual boundaries on babysitting the kids - when is a good time and how often they want to.
Respecting Boundaries = Healthy Relationships
"We each acknowledge and respect each other's boundaries. That's how you have a mutually respectful adult relationship," Lisa says in her video.
"Boundaries isn't a threat, and it isn't a dirty word."
Everyone Deserves Boundaries
Lisa believes every relationship deserves boundaries.
"If someone gets cut off from seeing their grandchildren, it's a pretty good indicator that they did not respect the parent's boundaries, to begin with."
The In-Law Struggles
Lisa studied Anthropology in college and has always been fascinated by interpersonal relationships.
And when she became a mom influencer on social media, she continually saw others' stories about in-law struggles as a new mom.
Parents Support Setting Boundaries
Many people commented on Lisa's video, supporting her comments on setting boundaries.
Others bluntly said, "Our parents can see their grandkids, except for when they don't respect our boundaries, then they don't."
Grandparents Should Never Undermine Parents' Rules
Grandparents cannot be undermining the rules parents have established for their children.
Even if it is well intended, a grandparent should respect the parents' rules and boundaries if the grandparent wishes to be a part of their grandchildren's lives.
Setting Small Boundaries
Keep in mind that these boundaries aren't always big.
They are usually small like, calling before coming over for a visit or respecting that your kids aren't allowed candy after 7 pm.
What Does A Therapist Have To Say?
Princess Audia Reggie, AMFT, has a master's degree in clinical psychology, marital, and family therapy.
Her clinical specialty is intergenerational trauma and parenting. She is passionate about helping her patients unlearn unhealthily and toxic parenting habits passed down from generation to generation.
Seeing Grandchildren Is A Privelege
In one of her TikTok videos, Princess says,
"Grandparents, your relationship with your grandkids is a privilege, not a right. You have no rights as a grandparent in the USA."
Determine How You Interact With The Parents
Princess says that a grandparent's relationship with their grandchildren directly correlates to their relationship with the parents.
So grandparents should determine how they act towards the parents because parents dictate how close they want grandparents with their kids.
Respect The Parents
In another video, Princess says,
"Respectfully, there is absolutely no way that you can mistreat me or have a history of mistreating me and expect a relationship with my child."
Parents React
Many people commented on Princess' video and agreed with her hot-take.
And call out grandparents for thinking they have a right because they raised their kids, and now their kids owe them.
