Women Share The Weirdest, Most Ridiculous Advice They Received While Pregnant
If you've ever been pregnant, you know that everyone and their mother has something to say about your pregnancy. They might think they're being helpful, or they're just being critical, but you're definitely going to get some unsolicited advice.
Some of it will be helpful advice that you actually need to know, but not all of it. Someone is going to tell you about the absolute horror that was their first birth, or that you're allowed to have a bottle of wine while pregnant, and you just have to smile, nod, and then write it off.
Don't Let The Dolphins Near Your Baby
We're not even going to touch the vaccination comment because that's a can of worms we don't want to open, but since when is giving birth with dolphins an option?
Everything Causes Nausea
If you're a woman who suffered from morning sickness (or afternoon sickness, or nighttime sickness) while you were pregnant, you know that just about everything makes you nauseated, and being dehydrated isn't going to change that.
No Baths Allowed
"Not to bathe because the baby would drown. The reasoning was that the umbilical acted as a sort of snorkel... if the navel was submerged the baby wouldn't be able to get air." —Reddit / HerrDresserVonFyre.
Doesn't that mean the baby could also drown if enough water got in while showering? There are flaws in this theory.
No Pasta Sauce For You
"Not to eat tomatoes or anything acidic, because it would give the baby heartburn. Not me, the baby." —Reddit / Misanthrope_penguin.
Since when can babies in the womb actually taste the things their mom is eating?
Only Iced Tea For You
You're not supposed to take overly hot baths or go in hot tubs while you're pregnant because it can cause health issues for you and your baby, but this is one we've haven't heard before.
This Is How You Bring Back Morning Sickness
If you're trying to induce labor, talk to your doctor, not your coworker. There's definitely a better way to get that baby out of you than drinking vodka and cod liver oil.
I'll Show You Difficult
If you want to see fussy and difficult, tell a pregnant woman that she's not allowed to have an argument with her husband. You'll be guaranteed to see something difficult.
Go Bore Someone Else With Your Questions
Your doctor may have literally written the book on pregnancy, but that doesn't mean that it's part of your required reading. Go find yourself a doctor that will allow you to ask questions.
Hope They Don't Have A Nut Allergy Either
There's literally no merit to this one. She needs to fact-check whatever holistic mommy blog she got this information from, because we're pretty sure it'd be widely known if peanut butter was causing cancer in babies.
This Theory Seems Flawed
Okay, we get what you're saying, and many women would prefer to give birth naturally rather than have to go through the surgery of a C-section, but there are definitely times where it needs to happen.
Take Me To Church
Can you spoil a baby that hasn't even been born yet? I don't know how much the baby can register while still inside its mother, but I'm pretty sure swaying back and forth while pregnant isn't going to create the next Veruca Salt.
You Can't Stock Up On Sleep
The saying "catching up on sleep" isn't even accurate, but you think that you are going to be able to stock hours to use up later? Good luck with that.
What Doctor Did Your MIL Get That Advice From?
Nowadays, there are studies and doctors who suggest that women in their second or third trimester are okay to have the occasional small glass of wine, but choosing to have four margaritas instead is not going to change the fact that you're drinking alcohol.
Keep That Cat Far Away
What is with an older generation of parents and grandparents thinking that cats are going to suck the souls out of babies? This is a surprisingly common myth, so don't be alarmed if you get pregnant and your 92-year-old grandma tells you to get rid of your cat.
Just Don't Feel Sick
Everyone knows that the easiest way to not feel sick is to simply not feel it. You have to be strong enough to overrule whatever your body is telling you. Ignore it and it'll go away. Or, it won't.
There Goes Your Seamstress Career
We're not suggesting that this advice has no logical reasoning to it...except, we are. There's no way that you sewing a hole in your husband's pants is going to lead to tangling your baby's umbilical cord.
Can He Erase You Instead?
As that other user commented, that's not how childbirth works. Unfortunately, no matter how much you pray for a painless birth, there's a good chance you're going to feel at least a little pinch.
Dance Parties All Day Every Day
So this is how NBA babies are made? All it takes is a couple of dance parties a week while your baby is in the womb and you'll be popping out the next generation of Olympic athletes.
Please Keep Your "Advice" To Yourself
This is the kind of advice that if you were going to be giving it to anyone (which really, you shouldn't be saying this at all), you should give it to your friends, not a random person you meet in a nail salon.
We're Just As Shocked As He Is
Imagine being pregnant, constantly thinking about the tiny person that you're literally growing inside of you, and someone has the audacity to tell you that your baby will be ugly if you look at a monkey. Unbelievable.
Glad They Knew This Was Crazy Advice
Another surprisingly common piece of "advice" that the older generations like to pass down to today's parents, it's also another piece of advice that you should definitely not pay attention to.
Keep Your Knees Together Too
At any other point in the day, your baby is perfectly safe and tucked up inside you, but once that sun sets, anything goes. You never know what could happen while you're sleeping.
Who Knew Holding Your Baby Was Bad?
You want to raise your child to be independent, but you don't need them to be fully functioning on their own at 3 weeks old. Hold your baby as much as you want.
Thanks For The Advice No One Asked You For
Clearly, that person doesn't understand how childbirth works because regardless of how big or tall or small you are, that baby is coming out of you, and there's nothing you can do about it.
Just Sleep Whenever You Can Fit It In
Every new parent will receive the "sleep when the baby sleeps" talk from other parents around them, but you'll quickly realize after your baby is born that it's a lot easier said than done.
Tangerines Makes The Next Einstein
"One of my work colleagues was obsessed with recommending that I eat citrus fruits. She was convinced it would give the baby a higher IQ." —Reddit / AikenRhetWrites.
There are definitely worse foods for a coworker to try to force on you, like that one who suggested vodka and cod liver oil.
Ruined For Everyone But The Person Who Matters: The Baby
Even if you were "taking the joy of feeding away" (whatever that means), you're feeding your baby, which is really the only person you need to care about. Everyone else can get over it.
No Yoga For You
All those prenatal yoga classes you've been going to are apparently wrong, and you've been putting your baby at risk by even reaching for a glass on the top shelf of the cupboard according to this wackadoodle.
Being A Woman Makes You A Woman
If you grow a baby inside of you and give birth to it, regardless of your form of birth, you're a real woman, and if that MIL wants to see her grandchildren, she should keep her opinions to herself.
What're They Teaching In Health Class?
In conclusion, clearly, we need to place more of a focus on educating people about how pregnancy and the female reproductive season work, because there are some crazy theories out there.