Things Children Without Siblings And Their Parents Are Tired Of Hearing
Deciding to have children is one of the biggest responsibilities you'll take on in your life, whether you choose to have one, two, or seven children. Many couples seem to choose to have two or more, leaving the parents of only children to fend off a lot of questions.
People have the misconception that if you're an only child you're going to grow up to be a certain type of person, and those concerns are often shared with parents. While your concerns are heard, parents of only children are sick of hearing them.
"They'll Have To Take Care Of You In Your Old Age"
If you have multiple children, there's no guarantee that they're all going to equally share the task of taking care of you or your spouse when you're older. Instead, focus on raising your child or children to be kind, caring people and you'll have more of a guarantee.
"You're Not A Real Parent If You Only Have One"
You're probably thinking, "I would never say this to another parent," but not everyone thinks that way, so as a friendly reminder to all, having one child makes you as much of a parent as having six.
"They Must Be Lonely"
This is an obvious comment that people make about kids who grow up without siblings, and while it comes from a place of concern, it's not always received that way. You're not locking your child away in a tower to live alone. They still go to school, have friends, participate in activities outside of interacting with hypothetical siblings.
Instead, Set Up A Play Date
If you're worried that another person's child is lonely, instead of critiquing their choice to only have one child, suggest a play date or an outing with your own child!
"He's Going To Grow Up Spoiled"
This is one of the biggest misconceptions about only raising one child. Yes, it's possible that a child who grows up without siblings could be spoiled, but you can just as easily spoil children who have siblings. It all comes down to your parenting style.
"You're Selfish For Only Having One"
Someone is going to say you're selfish if you choose not to have children, people will say you're selfish if you only have one, or they'll say you're selfish for having more than one because it's too costly for the economy. You're not going to be able to argue with this one.
"She Doesn't Seem Like An Only Child"
A comment like this one typically stems from the idea that a child who doesn't have siblings is going to be unable to share or be evidently spoiled, but that's not going to be the case with every child who doesn't have siblings, obviously.
"You Only Have One Shot At Being A Grandmother!"
First of all, you shouldn't put this kind of expectation or weight onto your child. Having children is a major life decision that isn't suitable for everyone, and it's up to the person who would be raising the child regardless of the expectations or wants of people around them.
"Are You Trying For Another?"
For some people, it's unfathomable that parents would intentionally only have one child because who wouldn't want to have more than one? But that's not always the case. If someone is telling you about their one child, you shouldn't automatically assume they're trying for a second one.
Avoid Asking About Other Children In General
You never know the reason behind why someone has only one child unless you ask, but you don't always have a right to know. It could be a private matter to do with fertility issues, or it could be that they simply only want one.
"She Needs A Sibling"
Why does your daughter need to have a sibling? She has friends, cousins, neighbors, plenty of other people to interact with on a daily basis. Siblings aren't the only thing that makes for a good childhood.
"That Must Be Why He's Shy"
If anything, children who grow up without siblings often turn out as more confident, self-assured children because they grew up with the sole attention of their parents, so comments like this are both unnecessary and inaccurate.
"They Won't Know How To Share"
This is probably the number one argument that people bring up for why you need to have multiple children, but what people fail to consider is that adults could be the ones who teach children how to share. It doesn't need to all come down to interacting with siblings.
"What If Something Were To Happen To Them?"
You're not the King of France, you don't need an heir and a spare. You shouldn't have a second child for the sole purpose of having a spare in case something tragic were to happen to your firstborn.
"You Have It So Easy With Only One Child"
Raising children is a huge responsibility whether you have one child or you're the parents from Cheaper by the Dozen. You could have three perfect angels, or you could have one child who gives you a serious run for your money. It's not about how many you have.
Try To Be More Sympathetic
Remember, no parent has it easy. You're all just trying to raise your tiny humans and make sure they grow up to be fully functioning members of society, whether you're raising one or four children.
Instead, Try Giving A Compliment
Every parent goes through tough moments, whether they have one child or three, and who couldn't use a little extra encouragement from time to time? Think about how you feel on a daily basis and try giving a compliment to a fellow parent instead of critiquing.
"Must Be Nice To Have So Much Money"
Often, someone who makes a comment like this fails to consider that the reason you're only having one child is because you don't have a lot of money and because children are expensive.
"But Who Does She Play With?"
Your daughter can play with her parents, her cousins, her family dog, and all her friends that she has met through school or through soccer. You're not isolating your child from the world around them.
"You'll Change Your Mind When You Have More"
Comments like this don't really even make sense, because if you're choosing to have more children, then you've already changed your mind. You shouldn't have a second child if you don't want to bring more children into your family, so don't count on changing your mind after it's already happened.
"They'll Be Alone When You Die"
Yes, when you and your partner or spouse pass away, your child would be without parents, just like every other child whose parents pass away, aka literally everyone.
"Don't You Want One Of Each?"
First of all, there's no guarantee that if you have a second child it's going to be a different gender than your first. But also, why do you need to have "one of each"? Some people are happy with just a boy or just a girl.
"She's Doing X, Y, or Z, Because She's An Only Child"
Kids are going to have good days and bad days just like adults, and they're going to exhibit bad behaviors because they're children, but it's not because they're an only child. You can't blame not having a sibling as the cause for all their behavioral issues.
"I Feel Bad For Him"
You don't need to feel bad for your friend's children who are growing up as the only child in the household! As long as they're being raised in a good home, you don't need to feel guilty or pity them.
"You Must Have Been So Supported By Your Parents"
Yes, your parents in theory have more time to support you and more time to dedicate to you if there's only one child in the family, but don’t assume things about other people’s childhood.
"Think Of The Inheritance Money"
A little morbid, right? Yes, you would possibly get more inheritance from your parents if you're the only child, but pointing out the impending death of your friend's parents is a little depressing.
"No Wonder You Have Time To Stay In Shape"
If you're a parent of one child, you still have to get your kid ready in the morning, get them to school on time with their pants on the right way, feed them dinner, and go through the chaos that is bedtime just like every other parent.
"I Wish I Didn't Have Siblings"
You may not always like your siblings, but you don't need to badmouth your own siblings or your family in order to sympathize with your friends who are only children.
"Kids Do Better By Having Friends In The House"
Friends don't necessarily need to be siblings. Your house is not empty and desolate, you can fill it with the chaos of a child's birthday party or a playdate anytime you want.
"Do You Want A Sibling?"
If you're an adult who's trying to convince your friends or family that they should have more children, please don't ask their child if they want a sibling. Don't be that person. It's confusing for the children, and it's not fair to the parents.
