Parents Share The Lessons They Think Every Parent Should Teach Their Child
Parenting is no easy task. Where to even begin on what to teach your children to ensure that they turn out to be the best they can be? These parents have an idea or two, and they are willing to share.
Mistakes Must Be Made
"It's alright to make a mistake, as long as you can admit it and grow from it." —LordPassionFruit
A teacher emphasized that she tells her students that they have to make mistakes to learn, because learning happens when they find and fix those mistakes. She makes it a point to always acknowledge her own mistakes, to which her students reply "you helped your brain grow!"
Parents Make Mistakes Too
"Admitting they can be wrong sometimes. Parents are humans and make mistakes. Kids need to see that." —MxPlume
Parenting isn't a linear, black and white process; it's just as much of a learning curve for the parents as it is for the children. That's why it's important for kids to see that their parents can be in the wrong too, but that how they handle is what matters.
No One Is Exempt From Apologies
"A good parent shouldn't be afraid to apologize to their kid when they're wrong." —Dr_Julian_Helisent
It's important that a kid understands that there is no hierarchy when it comes to apologies. It requires a certain level of accountability and humility that everyone should exhibit.
Asking For Help, Even When It'll Get Them In Trouble
"If you make a mistake and need help, come to me. Kids tend to make bad situations worse by trying not to get caught.
"I know way too many people who got in drunk driving accidents because they were too afraid to call their parents for help and drove home or got in the car with a drunk driver." —xandrenia
Feeling safe enough to ask for that help could literally save their lives.
Give Them The Space To Be Safely Rebellious
"As long as you are responsible and it doesn't happen all the time, in my opinion, teaching your kids it's okay to be a bit rebellious and live their life in their teens is a good thing to do.
"I never had a reason to not trust my mom because of this." —throw_away29890
The more you restrict a teen, the more likely they are to act out. Giving them some leeway to try those experiences safely and with your knowledge can make a world of a difference.
To Always Be Kind
"Be kind. You never know what someone might be going through." —nerdyflower03
As cliché as it sounds, a kid should know not to judge a book by its cover. Sometimes, all a person needs is for someone to be kind to them to turn their whole day around.
"I'm Proud Of You" —a_random_person_me
If they can see how proud you are of them, even if it's for the little things, they'll start to build that pride within themselves. This will reflect in their self-confidence and motivation, and it'll encourage them to aim higher to continue to make you proud.
The Difference Between Good And Bad Secrets
"There are good secrets and bad secrets. Bad secrets that make you feel unhappy don't need to be kept a secret. You either can tell me, Grandma, or your teacher, and we all will work together to make that secret go away so you can feel happy again.
"You will NEVER EVER be in trouble for telling about a secret that makes you feel bad." —ILoveitNot
The severity of the secret shouldn't be a factor, either—it could be as simple as a classmate asking them for help cheating.
A Surprise Is Not The Same As A Secret
"The only time an adult should tell a kid to keep a secret is when they're planning a nice surprise for someone else."
A child shouldn't harbor the responsibility of holding on to a secret. No one should, really. Honesty is the best policy.
Recognizing When They're Uncomfortable
"Express that it's OK to feel uncomfortable and not want to do something. " —niavaldero
A mother taught her daughter to always say hello but know that she's not forced to hug or kiss them if she didn't feel comfortable doing so. This conditions them to know that it's okay to say no.
Not Everyone's Going To Be Their Best Friend
"You don't need to be everyone’s best friend. Some people are just not going to like you, and that’s okay—it goes both ways." —AliCracker
It can be a real hit to the ego the first time a child notices that someone dislikes them. It's important that they understand that it's natural and that they will likely feel the same about some people too.
"It Gets Better As An Adult"
"When you're a teenager, it can be hard to see the bigger picture because all you've ever known is your hometown, family, school, and maybe a part-time job.
"Once you’re out on your own, there’s a world of endless opportunities and you’re not stuck in a seemingly endless cycle like you were as a kid. " —thepunkrockauthor
This is hardest to realize for teens in high school, but life gets better after.
Not All Friendships Are Meant To Last
"Sometimes, friends you trust will manipulate you. Parents should teach their children what manipulation is and how to avoid it... " —NotDepressed1224
This is important so that kids can recognize when a friendship becomes toxic and they need to leave it behind. They need to understand that it's okay to let go of people, as some are not meant to stay forever.
It's Quality Over Quantity
"Be careful about your choice of relationships. Sometimes none is better than one." —keelhaulrose
Kids should know from a young age that it's never better to settle for bad relationships just to have one. This will play a big role as they grow into wanting romantic relationships as well, and it will save them a lot of heartache.
To Be Whoever They Want To Be
"Be your own person. Not what anyone else wants you to be." —SaladSlayer00
Often, it's the smallest lessons that are the most important. This is a phrase that kids often hear, so it might get brushed off. They need to really believe it so that they can make their own path.
Money Doesn't Buy Happiness
"Growing up and being rich isn't a good life goal. Growing up and being happy is." —SaladSlayer00
Sure, they should feel motivated to look for success and a career, but money shouldn't be their driving factor. You don't want them to cave to greed or always be chasing the impossible.
To Speak Their Minds
"Speak up. Say what's on your mind. So many kids are taught it's rude to talk back to your parents that it sometimes robs them of the confidence to speak up anywhere." —Fulltergeist
Of course, there's a time and a place, but even if they can't identify it, it's better to take the chance and learn when it's okay than to never do it at all.
"Your Mental Illness Is Not A Weakness" —SaladSlayer00
This is a tough subject that they might not understand right away, but they need to feel that it's okay to be anxious or to not know how to socialize naturally. These are things they can work through if they surround themselves with the right kind of support. It doesn't make them weak or crazy.
Knocking Before Entering
"It's nonverbal, but knocking (and even better, waiting for permission to enter before doing so) is so important, especially for teens. It gives them their own sense of privacy and freedom." —KK91st1
Plus it teaches them to respect others' privacy and freedom as well.
It's Okay To Be Sad
"You don't have to be happy all the time. It’s okay to feel what you need to feel." —SaladSlayer00
Kids should know that no one is happy all the time and that they shouldn't have to pretend to be. Life gets hard and we're all entitled to our own emotions as long as we deal with them in healthy ways.
To Question Instead Of Blindly Follow
"Always have an open mind before coming to an opinion. Question and research the facts before blindly following someone else's lead." —ignatious__reilly
This will activate their critical thinking skills and encourage them to form their own beliefs, values, and opinions.
Walking Away From A Fight Is A Sign of Strength
"It's ok to walk away! It doesn't make you less of a man to walk away from a fight if you can, and walking away should always be the first resort. Then try to de-escalate if you can't walk away." —RazvanDubrinsky
Kids should find strength rather than weakness in choosing their battles. Their first resort should never be to engage in a fight.
To Only Worry About What They Can Change
"The world isn't fair, don't try to change what you can't, and instead, worry about the things you can."—NastroAzzurro
This is a lesson that, even as adults, we're still trying to learn, so we might as well instill it in them from a young age.
"Tell Me more!"
"Kid ramblings can be annoying at times, but if a kid is excited about something or feeling something deeply, listen. It can mean so much to them." —SaladSlayer00
Passion should be ignited and encouraged. Too many voices will try to shut them down, and they will go unheard too many times for it to start at home.
Their Input Is Valued Even If It's Disagreed With
"I appreciate your input. You won't always be right, and what you say won't always change my mind, but I still value your opinion.
"Communicate with your kid, most of the time you will know better than they will, but at least listen to what they have to say. Remember to also keep an open mind and be willing to compromise." —Aussieboi393
To Only Make Promises They Can Keep
"Never give a promise which you are not sure of keeping." —SaladSlayer00
This also extends to teaching them to always keep the promises they make, and if they can't, to just be honest about it. Promises need to be given value.
To Always Be Given The Chance To Talk To You
"Would you like to talk about anything? I'm good at listening." —tspagle
It's such a simple question, but it really opens up a line of open, safe, and welcome communication. Sometimes, all it takes is to actually ask them for them to cave and take the opportunity.
To Ask You To Let Them Go When They're Ready
"You will always be my child, and I'll always want to take care of you, but you have the right to ask me to let go when you feel the time is right.
"If you try to make it on your own but fall, call me anyway. I want to be there to catch you." —SaladSlayer00
As they grow up, at some point, they can ask for their independence and freedom but still know that they have a safe place to go to when things get hard.
That They're Loved For Who They Are, Not Just As An Obligation
"My dad once told me, 'I don't just love you because you’re my daughter, I love you as a person, and I’d love you if we were strangers who just randomly met, because you’re a good and interesting person all on your own terms.'
"Not everyone gets to feel that way about their kids, but I do, and I’m grateful." —maskedbanditoftruth
"I Love You For Who You Are" —NoodlesSpicyHot
The message many parents shared was to remind their children that they are loved. Saying "I love you" and really meaning it will ensure that they always feel important, wanted, and safe, so that even when the whole world feels like it's working against them, they always know that they at least can count on your love.
