These ‘Welcome to Parenthood’ Tweets Show The Real Things No One Prepares Parents For
There are a lot of resources for parents to read to feel more prepared for parenthood. There are books to read, documentaries to watch, podcasts to listen to, filled with helpful information so parents can feel some semblance of sanity and feel like they know what they're getting themselves into.
Despite all that, though, there are still going to be curveballs. There are some moments that only another parent can share with you, that no expert can prepare you for. Welcome to parenthood!
Seems Familiar...
If only they realized in that moment that this is how their parents feel every day when their children complain they don't like the meal that was prepared for them...
"Oh, I Don't Want That"
It seems like there's no winning when it comes to food with most children. It doesn't matter if you made them food that they loved last week, this week it's a different story. Even if they specifically asked for grilled cheese for lunch, by the time you're done making it, they might have changed their mind.
Always Take The Long Way Home
It might even get to the point where you welcome that traffic you get stuck in every day on your way home from work because it's a few extra minutes of quiet time.
How Many Questions Can One Small Person Ask?
Every morning, you wake up and tell yourself that it'll be a great day. You'll be calm and organized, you'll practice patience with your children. After the fifth question out of left field before 10 a.m. though, you might be singing a different tune.
And No One Fesses Up To Why
So many surfaces will be sticky for various reasons, and items will be broken, but your children will never fess up about who was responsible for the mess in question.
Every Move You Make Should Be Approved
You always want to check with your spouse before you take any extended period of time to yourself because what if that is the moment that your children decide to stage an uprising?
Never Watch A Full-Length Episode Again
You're also going to get very well acquainted with the first half of all your children's favorite movies, but the chances are slim that you'll make it to the end of Coco more than once a month.
And They'll Probably Never Get Finished
The tiny dictator who runs your household demands that you save that half-drank juice box, so you place it in the fridge next to that glass of chocolate milk that is a third of the way full. Once it gets to the end of the week and they've all been forgotten, you can do a grand sweep of the fridge.
Invest In Your Own Sanity
Do what you can to make your life as easy as possible. Earplugs are one of those things that you might find are the perfect tool for when your kids decide their inside voices are actually the same volume as their outside voices.
They Might Be Missing Batteries, Too
If you want anything in your house to stay in good, working condition, don't let your kids know it exists. Remotes are the prime example of things that are arguably a necessity, yet they're one of the first things to go missing every day.
There Aren't Enough Hours In The Day
It's like the hours get shorter with the more children you have, you know? These little boys and girls know how to eat up every minute of your spare time, so you're just in a constant state of hurrying.
It's Like Cats With Boxes
You spend who knows how much money ensuring that your kids have lots of toys to play with, yet they also insist that the piece of trash they found in the backyard three weeks ago is their new best friend.
Sleep Will Definitely Escape You
Sometimes you can blame your restlessness on a child walking into your room demanding a glass of water at midnight, but other times it's just your body choosing to betray you.
You Can't Please Everybody
No matter what choice you make, there is always going to be someone who disagrees with you. It's better to just accept that reality now and focus on doing what's best for you and your family.
The Outside Objects Don't Stay Outside
Thanks to the children you now have in your home, you can expect to find a lot of objects inside your home that you previously would've defined as "outside" objects. Rocks, pinecones, leaves, frogs—anything can become an inside object if your kid carries it indoors.
This Is Why Microwaves Exist
The chances of you actually finishing your cup of coffee before it gets cold are slim to none. You can expect to need to reheat it at least twice every morning because your kids will distract you and you won't remember the mug until 40 minutes later.
Expect Brutal Honesty
While they might lie about which one of them was responsible for breaking the lamp in the living room, you can bet your kids are going to be honest with you about your flaws, especially if it's something physical they can see.
When Did Soccer Get So Expensive?
You want to give your kids the opportunity to participate in all the activities they love, but boy are they expensive. If you thought college was expensive, wait until you see the fee for peewee hockey registration this year!
The Day Is Still Young
So much chaos can be packed into such a small span of time. For every new day, there's going to be some new unique challenge that has you thinking, "Wow, so today wasn't the worst day after all."
You Hold All The Cards...And All The Wrappers
Basically, you are just a storage facility for all of their belongings as well as their garbage. Anything that they don't want to hold or deal with will be passed to you.
They're Called "Throw Pillows" For A Reason
To you, a throw pillow is meant to be thrown on the couch as a casual decoration that requires little effort on your part. To your kids, though? A throw pillow means they should throw it across the room, or throw it directly at their sister's head.
Check His Breathing Then Move On
You can't fathom how your kid could be comfortable sleeping half off his bed or with her neck flopping around in the car, but if it's working for them, don't question it!
Define "Relaxing"
You could also have the added panic of wondering why you're feeling relaxed at the moment. Is the house quiet because your son is napping like he's supposed to, or is he trying to feed his Legos to the cat again?
Everything Is Unfinished Forever
You're also probably not going to finish the DIY project you started a few months ago, and you still need to deal with the laundry that you told yourself you would fold by yesterday.
You're All Getting Chaos For Christmas
Christmas is still the most wonderful time of the year when you have children, but it will also be the most chaotic and crazy time of the year. It's a different kind of madness than the usual daily crazy you're accustomed to.
Oh How The Times Change
You used to laugh at your friends on Facebook who had gone over the edge and descended into parenthood as shown by their complaints in the neighborhood Facebook group, but now you are that friend.
You Better Hide The Glitter Glue
Let's hope that you weren't attached to any of the furniture in your home, because anything is fair game when it comes to crafting. Be prepared for your coffee table to be covered in colored marker because they missed the page, and to find glitter stuck in carpets weeks later.
Planning Is Pointless
You can have a loose plan that you maybe intend to stick to, but in reality, it's all going to go up in smoke after the first child has a meltdown.
All You're Left With Is Crusts
Seriously, how can such small people consume so much bread in one week or even one day? You don't realize how many sandwiches and half-eaten pieces of toast are in your future.
Take The Small Win
You're going to need to learn to accept the small wins where you can and be kind to yourself. You showered, and you used some sort of soap to wash your hair. That's enough accomplishments for one day.
