Weird Complaints Married People Have Made About Their Spouses That Prove Marriage Is Never Peaceful
When it comes to marriage, there is never a time when everything is all sunshine and rainbows; you're always going to have something to complain about your partner doing. However, while some complaints are valid, some are just downright absurd.
These people shared the weirdest complaints about spouses they've heard from married people or have about their own husbands and wives.
Why Do Men Sneeze So Loudly?
"I hate his sneeze. So much. It's the worst. It's like a sonic boom at exactly the right level of ear-splitting timbre. Asking him to sneeze quieter has only gotten me weird looks (even though he is also sensitive to sound—things rattling in cars, especially), so now I just hold my ears."
Sounds Like A Dream Come True
"My dad likes to take my mom on surprise romantic breaks to mystery locations. My mom complains that she doesn't like not knowing where they are going. I can’t even imagine how many people would love to have that 'problem'..."
Morning Grumpiness Is No Joke
"I had a friend tell me she had considered divorce because her husband kept saying good morning to her before she'd had coffee. I laughed thinking she was joking, and she looked stone-faced and said they had to go to marriage counseling over it, and finally her husband realized this was a serious issue."
I Would Love To Have That Type Of Control
"My friend complained that her husband asked her what she wanted to order for dinner too often. She wanted him to just decide on it himself and know what she wants. She's not picky or anything so it doesn't seem like a situation where she would be unhappy if he did order for her. But I remember being surprised that she was that annoyed by it."
Yeah, That Sounds Really Messed Up
"My friend complains that her husband spends lots of money on extravagant things for himself but doesn't let her spend any money. They both work. He doesn't let her spend HER OWN MONEY."
Those Are The Best Omelettes, Though?
"My ex-husband used to complain my omelettes were 'too fluffy.'"
I bet that any chef would tell you that the fluffier the omelette, the better it is, so this guy was clearly in the wrong.
I Want This To Be My Future
"My mom complains because my dad chases her around the house without his dentures in and tries to sing badly to her and kiss her... it's adorable, but I guess it can get old after 40 years!"
Is There A Right Way To Spit?
"I had a boyfriend who, while I was finishing brushing my teeth, said casually from the other room: 'I hate the way you spit.'
"I mean, okay I guess but I cannot change that."
Bro, Maybe A Divorce Is The Way To Go
"One of my coworkers complained to me that he couldn't stand spending any amount of time with his wife. He would work overtime and volunteer night shifts just to not have to go home. When I asked why he was still married to her if he didn't love her, he said that she was a good woman and doesn't plan to divorce her and that they are planning on having a kid together."
She Doesn't Want Them Either!
"My husband gets irrationally annoyed when I get hiccups."
There are few ailments that are more frustrating and uncontrollable than the hiccups. I mean, no one ever gets them on purpose.
This Is Not About You!
"A woman I know got a call letting her know that her husband had cut his leg with a CHAINSAW and she had the audacity to cry, 'He promised me he wouldn't get hurt on the job!' (Genuinely angry)."
This Is The Definition Of A Champagne Problem
"My wife complains to me that the diamond in her engagement ring is too big and always gets caught while she's brushing her hair. I guess I should have bought her a smaller diamond."
Okay, But Why Doesn't She Just Make Enough For Him Too?
"My husband told me about a coworker whose wife will make breakfast for her and her daughter but not anything for him. Like he is there, in the house, hungry, and she makes just enough breakfast for her and their kid."
That Is A Long Grudge To Hold
"I heard a coworker the other day complain about how her husband didn't rub her feet when she was pregnant with her daughter six years ago. I think it wasn't so much the complaint that was weird but the fact that she still sounded pretty bitter about it after all this time."
Poor Woman And Her Man-Babies
"My female coworker's husband is incapable of taking care of himself to the point that when she went away to take part in a sporting contest for three days, she had to ask her MIL to come in to take care of her husband and two adult male children because otherwise, they'd starve."
The Dogs Are The Problem Here, Not The Wife
"My husband complains that he has no room in our king-sized bed and sleeps poorly because of it. I told him our bed is huge and that this shouldn't be the case. He took this photo at 5 a.m. and sent it to me for proof."
Maybe He Should Just Listen More?
"His wife got him a pool table that he wanted. He has this tendency of agreeing to anything anyone says/any question asked if he's doing something he likes; you could ask if he wants a cocktail sauce-dipped ice cream cone for lunch and he'd agree and tell you to go away.
"Well, his wife apparently called him one day and said that they had a pool table at work, what it was being sold for, did he want it? He agreed so she bought it. Apparently, in his mind, he meant it as a 'Sure but we have nowhere to put it so no.'
"When he came home to find the pool table there, he freaked out. Groused to me about now he has to listen to his wife because she might trick him again."
The Marriage Had To Be Delicate If Pancakes Could Upend It
"My ex tweeted that the reason our marriage didn't work out was that I didn't make him enough pancakes."
You know, there are many reasons why a marriage might fall apart, but I never thought pancakes would be one of them.
I Want To See This Happen In Real Time
"My husband's feet make a farting noise when he walks around on the wooden floor. I think it's because they are ridiculously flat and trap air. I find it hilarious though."
Please, Just Take Them Off
"My complaint, five years into homeownership, is that he will not stop wearing shoes in the house. It's so nasty. His defense is that he's protecting his feet. From what? I have no idea."
It's The Hypocrisy For Me
"My boyfriend complains about the cat a lot, and then I catch him doing this."
There is no one who loves the family pet than the person who complains about it the most or never wanted it in the first place.
He Just Wants To Hang Out
"It wasn't from a married person, but my husband's best friend. He literally cried, like real tears, to my husband, weeks before we were to be married, and told him everything was going to be different once we were married, that he would barely see us anymore."
That's A Lot Of Carbs
"He eats potatoes with pasta."
With the exception of gnocchi, there is no reason why a person should have potatoes in a pasta dish. That's too many starchy foods in one meal.
This Is Passive-Aggression At Its Best
"I heard a coworker complaining about how any time her husband cooks, he puts in a bunch of a particular hot sauce he knows she hates to the point where she can't even eat the food he makes. She's generally a nasty woman at work and I'm ashamed to admit I laughed with my buddy later because obviously her husband is passive-aggressive and hates her just as much as we do."
That's An Oddly Specific Number Of Squares
"My wife complains I use too much toilet paper and I should only use three sheets at a time."
I get not wanting to be wasteful, but this is too extreme.
Man Is A Little Too Codependent
"My coworker's husband makes her take time off whenever he has vacation time. She recently took two weeks off leaving me to work alone, all she did was complain about how she wants to come to work, and work is her vacation from him.
"I have mentioned to her a few times this seems very controlling and she has a right to do what she wants, but all she says is 'he's been like this for 30 years; there's no changing him.'"
There's No Such Thing As Too Much Garlic
"My wife consistently complains about how much garlic I use when I'm cutting it up, but she never complains about the taste of the food. She loves my cooking! And I love to cook!"
He Was Just Being A Good Dad?
"My mom used to complain that when my dad worked nights he would take the midnight and 3 a.m. feedings, so she could sleep. Her issue was he wanted to spend time with me.
"Yes. She was jealous and her child's father took the night feedings and wanted to spend time with his child, since he slept during the day."
I Get This One
"My wife complains that all her credit cards are the same color: silver."
While her complaining shouldn't be aimed at her husband, who cannot control the color of the cards, I do understand how annoying it is to find the right card when they all look the same.
The Problems Of Others Can Remind Us How Lucky We Are
"Man, I'm so happy to be in a relationship where my biggest peeve about my man is that he seemed unable to pull the shower curtain all the way closed when he's finished."
