30 Times Kids Ruthlessly Roasted Adults By Accident
Kids are wonderful, innocent creatures who haven't quite learned to navigate the ways of the world: they are inherently trusting, they get along with just about any other kid they meet, and they are inclined to believe in magic.
However, they also need to learn that honesty isn't always the best policy, which means they can deliver some wicked insults without even knowing it. These are some adults who got burned so hard by their unwitting kids that they needed aloe to recover.
The Duality Of Woman
I understand that makeup can make your face look slightly enhanced, but to look so different that a child thinks you're a totally different person? That's a hard pill to swallow.
Felt Like A Roundhouse Kick To The Face
If this happened to me once, let alone twice, you could bet that my frail ego would run to a cosmetics store and go bankrupt buying every single anti-aging product on the shelf.
Was That Tidbit Of Information Really Necessary?
Kids will forget the important details 80% of the time, but they will never fail to add in a minute, unnecessary piece of information that humiliates you when talking to strangers!
Suddenly, I Wish I Had Used Birth Control
Kids will really see that you're married to their father and that you're their parent and still not put two and two together, instead opting to ask a question like this and derail your self-esteem.
He Has No Sense Of Judgment Whatsoever
If it had been one or the other, it could be plausible, but not both. I think it's time for this mother to consider taking her son to the optometrist, because he clearly is struggling with his eyesight.
"From Now On, We're Playing The Silent Game, Sweetie!"
The worst thing about a kid roasting you is that they have no idea that they're doing it in the first place. She probably really does love the chins, even if you don't.
It Really Just Do Be Like That Sometimes
I wish I could always be put-together with a great outfit and my hair done well, but the reality is that some days I cannot make myself wear anything other than pajama pants.
She's An Impostor!
On one hand, I have to give it up for this extra-vigilant niece who refuses to let an impostor try to steal the place of her uncle's new bride. On the other hand, RUDE.
Stranger Danger!
Can you imagine having your son—who you spent nine months building inside your body, who you went through painful labor for and have since cared for their whole life—refer to you as "some lady"?
I Can't Believe She Didn't Go Full Joker On Him
Women love having a big occasion to look forward to, not for the event itself, but because it means that they get to feel beautiful with their hair and makeup done. Anyone who destroys that joy will face consequences.
Congratulations! You Have The Voice Of A Robot!
No one likes the sound of their own voice—at least, no sane people do. I literally flinch when I have to hear a recording of myself. However, I have at least never been mimicked so horrifically.
...And He Has Now Been Put Up For Adoption
I would like to personally tell this woman that she is not completely unrecognizable without makeup but that her son is, in fact, the absolute worst and she should trade him in for a newer model.
Wow, You Have Raised A Sociopath
The death of a loved one can be a hard concept for a young child to process, especially when it is the first death they've been personally tied to. This kid, however, was ready to give his father an existential crisis.
As Opposed To The "Fake" Mom I've Been This Whole Time?
I guess if I haven't been a "real mum" this whole time, I might as well start putting fake plastic food into the kids' lunches and only letting them play with "fake" toys.
No Mother Left Unscathed
There's no hiding that pregnancy and childbirth really do a number on your body—especially your chest. I don't know if I feel worse for this woman who apparently looks "fake" or for the girl's actual mother.
I Don't Even Understand The Logic Behind This
I would like to see a side-by-side comparison of the photo, because I cannot fathom how a difference in appearance due to natural aging could make someone look like they had a head transplant.
Maury, This Is Not My Father
Facial hair is like makeup for the average man: It can really change the way people see you. Better hope growing the mustache back out can get you into your daughter's good books again!
It's Literally Just A Touch Of Mascara!
Teachers are so brave and I could never do what they do. Imagine having to keep control of a group of small humans who don't know how to do math and also have no filter—couldn't be me.
...And I'll Eat You Too If You Don't Be Quiet
Becoming a parent means that you have to devour and repress the past version of yourself who was young, beautiful, and wild in order to shoulder the responsibility of raising children.
She's Trying So Hard To Figure It Out
Hair length/style is one of the first things we notice about a person, so I can understand this girl's initial confusion. It's the fact that she still believes that she has a third mom that's shocking.
Do You Think I Only Shower Before Events?
I will admit that having somewhere I need to be is often a prompt for me to take a shower, but I hope my kids realize that I do shower on a daily basis.
Garrett's Mom Has Got It Going On
It's not that you want a bunch of 10-year-old boys to think that you're hot, because that would be weird, but it's still kind of upsetting to realize that they think Garrett's mom is hot but not you.
She Is An Untrustworthy Source
I understand that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that jazz, but I would still be deeply upset if someone insinuated that I look like the Wicked Witch of the West!
Of All The Adjectives I Want To Hear, Squishy Isn't One
From here on out, here is a complete list of descriptive words that people can use in reference to me: intelligent, confident, beautiful, hot, understanding, interesting, and definitely not squishy.
Even Dads Get Roasted For The Wedding Photos
In this child's defense, I once asked my mom who the guy in her wedding photos was because my father had hair in the pictures but had been bald since my birth.
"Am I Really That Awful For You?"
The hardest part of being a parent is when you have to lay down the law and be the bad guy to your kids, but you always hope that the good outweighs the negative. Apparently not.
Someone Put A Muzzle On Your Kid!
The best piece of advice that a Disney movie has ever given is in Bambi when Thumper's mom tells him, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
Hello, It Me
I don't know whether to interpret this as a compliment or an insult. In a way, the aunt is saying that she looks really beautiful now, even if she was really ugly a year ago.
How Old Do I Look To You?
I've had someone ask me if I was excited about menopause coming up and if I was getting my hair done for prom within the same day before, and now I have no concept of how old I look.
Just Me, The One And Only
Is this one of those Jekyll and Hyde style things, where one persona and look is so different from the other that a person could feasibly believe it was two separate people? Or is the saleswoman just rude?
