These Tweets Perfectly Describe What It’s Like To Be Married
If you're one half of a married couple, you know that being in a long-term relationship has its perks, but it also has its downsides. Marriage isn't all sunshine and rainbows all of the time. When it's good, it's really good, but when it's annoying, you kind of miss having some space to yourself.
Keep reading to see some tweets that perfectly describe the complex feelings and experiences you come across after you say "I do."
Thirty, Flirty, And Thriving
This is what being in your 30s is all about. If you don't get excited over a new vacuum, what can you get excited about?
I wonder who got to use it first.
Vegetable Hospice
This is actually quite brilliant. I think I'm going to start calling my fridge drawer Vegetable Hospice now too.
At least this guy married someone with a good sense of humor.
I Was Watching That
No, you weren't watching that. I bet this guy couldn't even tell you what happened in the last five minutes of that show.
Just let her change the channel.
Trash Games
This trash game is absolute trash because not only is it not fun at all, it's also messy and annoying.
Everybody loses and the trash never gets taken out. Don't wait until garbage day.
That's Laughable
We all know what her husband was probably thinking in that moment.
Are you going to make me say it or can we all just read in between the lines?
The Only Solution
It's tough out here in this economy. It feels like the only way two people can afford to live a middle-class life is by bringing in a third person.
That just doesn't seem right.
Chore Buddies
My husband and I have this down to a tee. I prefer tidying, cooking, cleaning the floors, and making the bed, and he prefers washing dishes and doing laundry.
We were made for each other.
True Love
Get yourself a man who knows how important it is for you to have a fully charged phone.
Women love charging their phones, am I right? Seriously, we cannot be below 30%.
A Picky Eater
I don't think this guy is going to grow out of his picky eating phase anytime soon.
It looks like he's going to go the rest of his life avoiding broccoli.
Be Careful What You Criticize
You have two options: You can accept the way she loads the dishwasher, or you can load it yourself.
There is no in between. This guy inadvertently chose the latter.
Taking Matters Into Her Own Hands
Is this wife being extremely petty? Yes, she is. Is she justified in her pettiness? We think so.
How dare he watch their show without her? That's so not cool.
When He Grocery Shops
Why is it that husbands cannot grocery shop properly?
I feel like they only buy things that are on sale, and if eggs are not on sale, then the family is just not having eggs for a while.
Sleeping Beauty
Of course he was talking to the dog. That must be one adorable little puppy. I kind of get this one.
The dog is probably more beautiful than both of them combined.
Those Aren't Shorts
Well, this guy has been walking around in public wearing his husband's underwear. That's pretty embarrassing.
Let's just hope that everyone else he saw outside of his house thought that they were shorts too.
Sharing Is Caring
Husbands have to know that if they order fries for themselves, at least 75% of those fries belong to someone else.
It was nice of this wife to share some of her fries.
What Kind, Though?
You can't leave it up to a man to pick out any random toothpaste. They're probably going to come back with something cinnamon flavored.
If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.
So It Was Written And So It Shall Be Done
It's one of those rules that might not be legally enforced, but it is so ingrained into our society that it would be a fool's mission to challenge it.
Just don't touch her fries.
Husbands Be Like "Where's The Remote?" While Holding It
I swear things will be invisible due to some supernatural force when I am looking for it,
But the second I ask for help, the item appears in front of me and I look like an idiot.
Your Permanent Partner In Complaining
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, but I believe that the true way to grow your bond with a loved one is to be annoyed by the same things in public.
And then talk about them with each other without others around you knowing you're talking about them.
I Self-Identify As The Rookie
Forget the antiquated "who wears the pants in the relationship?" question;
I want to know which one of you had to sit the other down for a lecture about the dangers of attempting parkour.
She Has A Sixth Sense
![Me: *sets down anything* Wife: [from another room] please don't leave that there](https://www.dadpatrol.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/06/dont-leave-that-there-87524.jpg?width=480 "don't leave that there")
It's gotten to the point where my wife won't even be at home, but I still can hear her in my head chewing me out for leaving a spoon on the countertop.
Everything has a rightful place, but clearly you don't know where that place is.
He Probably Got Distracted By Ice Cream
In a perfect world, every marriage would be comprised of two self-sufficient people just hanging out forever.
However, this world isn't perfect, and we need to maintain codependency. The second my wife understands how to fix the air pressure on her tires, she'll leave me.
Financial Woes
Finances are one of the leading causes of divorce in our country. Is toilet paper more expensive than Kleenex? Maybe it is nowadays.
Let's just hope this couple sets through this hard time.
Assembling A Bookshelf
Has any couple in the history of the world ever assembled any piece of furniture without getting into a massive argument?
Those deceptively simple IKEA bookshelves will really test your connection.
Dating Vs. Marriage
The things that you think are cute about a person when you first start dating them are the things that will drive you crazy down the road.
She should finish those chicken wings, though.
What Marriage Is Really Like
You want the rectangular one with the wooden base, but your spouse thinks that one is too expensive and doesn't know why you even need a new light fixture in the first place.
You both leave the store unhappy.
Let's Play A Game
Let's just hope that this game is all in good fun and that nobody resents anybody else for not being able to make delicious food or do impressive home renovations.
It's fun for the time being.
TV Rules
This kid is the only person who knows that his parents both watched "their" show secretly without telling each other. Well, now the whole internet knows too.
I wonder what the show is.
IKEA or The Hunger Games?
We've all seen episodes of a home reno show or House Hunters where you think, "there's no way this couple will last if they can't even do this." Furniture shopping is just the real-life version of this, minus the cameras and people judging you from their couches at home.
Furniture shopping is not for the faint of heart. Only go to IKEA with someone you trust completely. Otherwise, it'll be total chaos.
Be A Mind Reader
What Keith clearly has yet to learn about marriage is that he needs to anticipate his wife's needs.
Did she say she doesn't want fries at dinner? Be prepared for her to eat some of yours off your plate. She said don't buy any more ice cream because she's trying to eat healthier, but you know she's going to want some later tonight. Just buy a carton and put it in the freezer for her to stumble upon later.
