The Best Complaints Parents Have Heard From Their Toddlers
There are a lot of things that people like to complain about in life, many of which are valid. If you have a toddler, though, the chances of them complaining about something legitimate are slim to none.
Toddlers are there to question you and to ask questions you might not even know the answer to. They're going to cry about the fact that their water is too soupy, or be upset that the squirrel outside doesn't have a jacket, and you just have to roll with it.
Squirrels Get Cold Too
"A 3-year-old girl I babysit was sad that the squirrel outside didn't have a coat, and became angry that I didn't have one on hand for him." —Reddit / Blood-Candy
Next thing you know, you're inside trying to sew a tiny jacket for a woodland creature just to please the 3-year-old dictator you live with.
Let Her Learn The Lesson
Sometimes the best way to win the argument is to let them think that they've won.
Give them what they want, knowing it's not going to go well, and they'll teach themselves.
The Flavors Are Too Similar
"'It's the wrong same!' took weeks to figure out he was referring to the apricot and peach yogurts." —Reddit / Grabagear
In some way, "the wrong same" actually makes sense here.
No Bones For This Boy
What is it with children assuming that everything hard must be a bone?
Neither corn with the bone nor bone pizza sound appetizing, so we don't blame him for not wanting to eat them.
This Is Why We Don't Skip Nap Time
"My 6-year-old yelled 'I'm too tired to go to sleep!' in a fit of delirium and rage." —Reddit / theroutesetters
We've all been there. Sometimes, you're just too tired to do anything, including sleep, and then the feeling just gets worse.
That's Not How Compromise Works
Okay, so maybe she doesn't have a head for conflict resolution; she'll develop other strengths in life!
She probably just heard mom say it once or heard it on TV and decided to add it to her vocabulary.
No One Wants Gravy On Ice Cream
"When I was about 5, my parents gave me ice cream with chocolate sauce and I broke down crying. Took them a while to figure I was upset at the psycho sick [person] who'd put gravy on my ice cream.
"Eventually, they convinced me to try some and I enjoyed it." —Reddit / gopherit83
Way To Highlight Their Insecurities
"Was sitting at the entrance of the play place at a nearly empty Chick-Fil-A (idk how but there was barely anyone there) when a little boy, probably 2-3 years old, walked up to me, pointed at my sunburnt face, and said the four words that haunt me to this day:
'Your nose is wrong.'" —Reddit / DeWelsh23
How Ominous
"The last number" makes it seem like this kid knows something that you don't know, or is planning some sort of crime that you should be worried about.
Hopefully, they're just calling you old, not threatening you.
Hats Off To Him For Trying
"My nephew had a breakdown and cried when his boot wouldn't fit on his head like a hat." —Reddit / SavageInkStudios
If he had gone for one of Dad's boots, he might have been able to fit it over his head!
Yawns Don't Need To Be Scary
"I yawned with my mouth really wide and my little sister told my mum I was trying to eat her." —Reddit / SnooPeripherals6969
It's like introducing a puppy to a new situation. They're not going to know what something is until it happens to them.
Don't Cry Because It's Over
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happens!
It applies to everything in life, including ice cream. Or, just keep giving him more ice cream so that it never has to end.
Reality Isn't Always Pleasant
"My daughter had a complete existential breakdown one day when she found out that she was going to have to pee every day of her life." —Reddit / DrunkUranus
Just wait until she finds out she has to breathe every day of her life too.
Don't Look Into The Light
"My little sister, laying on her back, staring straight into the lamps: 'My eyes hurt!'
"'Then stop staring at the lamp.' 'No!'" —Reddit / audriuska12
A solution is clearly not what he wanted here.
The Bones Just Add Too Much Crunch
If you heard a child say that there were bones in the ice cream, you'd definitely be doing a double-take.
Luckily, she just didn't understand the concept of frozen fruit.
You'll Take What You're Given And You'll Like It
"Cousin's 3yo: (offers a Goldfish to my BIL) BIL: No, thank you! 3: (offers another Goldfish) BIL: No, no thank you! 3: (offers another Goldfish) BIL: No thank you, buddy! 3: GRANDMA, [BIL] WON'T SHARE!
"Sharing is mandatory in both directions, I guess." —Reddit / tinypiecesofyar
Now You've Ruined Everything
Clearly, you weren't supposed to shift the food from the bowl she didn't like into the bowl that she did like—that's far too simple of an option.
They always have to make things more difficult.
No One Likes Mondays
"My wife woke the kids up and told them it was Monday so they needed to get ready for school.
"'Don't like Monday... Hate Monday... YOU'RE MONDAY!' (Directed at wife)" —Reddit / straighttoplaid
Do You Mean Itchy?
"When my little sister was a toddler, she screamed she couldn't go to sleep because her pajamas were 'too spicy.'" —Reddit / gentlybeepingheart
You should check the spice cupboard, or look into getting a new laundry detergent.
Congratulations?
If we heard our child yell that their legs were sparkling, we'd immediately be thinking the worst.
The worst being they have covered themselves in glitter and we'd have to spend the next week of our life finding glitter flakes everywhere.
Now You Need A New VCR & A New Snack
"My boy cried when, after stuffing his sandwich in the VHS recorder (early '90s), there was no movie about sandwiches." —Reddit / fluffyfluffycake
Now they've ruined the VCR, and they're going to need you to make them a new sandwich.
Well, That Was Easy
Just a gentle reminder is all it takes. It's much better than getting the popsicles home then him remembering that he doesn't like bananas.
This way you can pick something he'll probably actually eat.
Or Maybe His Soup Is Too Watery
"My 4-year-old brother told me 'My water is too soupy.' I still haven't quite figured it out." —Reddit
Either they're serving up some chunky water, or that wasn't water he was drinking.
More Hands, More Problems
"The 3-year-old found a mitten on the ground and put it on. He asked where the other one was and I said I didn't know.
"He looked down and said, like it was a unique problem, 'But I have TWO hands!'" —Reddit / miachaelchondria
The Effort Was Too Much
We too would like to cry about the effort that it sometimes takes to complete basic tasks.
Even if those tasks are things that would make us happy in the long run.
It's Your Own Fault
"My 2-year-old puts her hand in front of the dog's mouth and cries when he licks her." —Reddit / bwatching
How do you explain to a 2-year-old the concept of cause and effect?
You're Not The Boss Of Me!
"Now that I've been working at home (I have a desk set up in my bedroom), whenever I give my 3-year-old grief, he tells me to go back to work." —Reddit / Northern_Way
At this point, she'd probably love to be able to go back to work and actually leave the house.
Her Eyes Are Always Bigger Than Her Stomach
This kind of self-awareness is going to take her far in life...
Eventually, she'll learn that you can just ignore that feeling during important meals like Thanksgiving dinner, where you just need to push past the pain so you can eat as much as possible.
She Just Wanted To Be Bilingual
"Demanded to know how to say 'Hola in Spanish' would not accept that hola was already Spanish, cried for hours" — Reddit / mashroomium
Someone has been watching too much Dora the Explorer.
But Soup Is Wet Anyway
One commenter pointed out that non-wet milk is just another way to ask for cheese, though their toddler might not have known that.
Telling your kid cheese is made of milk could have just started another meltdown.
