Secrets That Even Grown-Up Children Are Still Keeping From Their Parents
Just because we're all grown up now, that doesn't mean we've quite let go of all our shenanigans. Some of us are still holding on to secrets we've kept for so many years that now it's too late to even say anything. Meanwhile, some of us are creating new secrets as we speak that our parents are probably better off never knowing.
Here are some of the best secrets adults shared with the internet instead of with their own parents.
An Executive Decision
"I recorded Gundam Wing: Endless Waltz over my sister's high school graduation video. It's been about 18 years, but I still feel bad." —sheldonowns
It's impressive that during those 18 years no one even wanted to take another look at the video in the first place. Graduation ceremonies are kind of boring anyway.
After-Hours Shenanigans
"That I used to sneak out of the house from our second story bathroom window to go nightclubbing with my friends after my parents went to bed." —Vyzantinist
This sounds very risky. The fact that the window is big enough and that the odds of them falling from the second story never played against them is quite the achievement.
The Great Pokémon Heist
"When I was at Walmart with my mom, and I stole two of those big cartons full of Pokémon cards. Took the cards and stuffed them in my back pocket. I planned the whole robbery a week before. I was the best robber at nine years old." —j-benz
There is no way no one noticed two big cartons in his back pocket. How big are these pockets?!
Guilty Pleasure Late Nights
"I used to watch South Park when they thought I was sleeping." —[deleted]
I wonder how young they were when they started doing so, because South Park isn't exactly rated E for everyone. It probably gave them an interesting perspective at a young age.
Unshared Beliefs
"That I'm not religious. My parents are fundamentalist, and religion is the most important thing to them. I know it would break their heart if they knew that I’ve become agnostic and non-practicing." —Anonymous
This can be one of the hardest pieces of news to break to a parent, but ideally, they can agree to disagree.
Laughs Kept To Oneself
"I've read or written fanfiction since I was 16 years old. I have no idea what they thought I was laughing at on my laptop for the last 10 years, but I’m glad they didn’t know the truth." —something-sensible
On the bright side, it probably encouraged their creativity, imagination, and writing skills.
A Difficult Choice To Make
"This isn't too bad, but I never really want to have kids. Maybe one day that might change, but I haven't told my parents as they both seem so happy to think that one day they'll be grandparents and that I'll be a mother and well all be happy and—Mum? I already have enough stress." —gabbythegreat2812
Do puppies count as grandchildren, though?
Creating A Different Path
"That I'm not going to finish my degree and I’ve paid off my student loans. I hate disappointing them because my dad gets very proud of my sister and me with our accomplishments...but truth be told, I’m quite content with the 60k I make bartending. My degree would have only pulled 35k starting." —absurdapple
A Secret Helper
"My mom always wondered why I didn't have friends in high school, and it is because we were broke and I knew she was struggling, so I refused anytime people wanted to do things so I wouldn't ask for money, then in my last year of high school I worked full time so I had no time to make friends." —winenotbecauseofrum
Sometimes kids end up being their parents' guardian angels.
It Was Time For The Talk
"When I was a child, I was in my parent's drawers and opened them and saw (what I now know to be) condoms. I grabbed all the condoms and started making balloon animals.
"I hate myself for being so dumb." —Bre_Lopez987
Kids can be so innocent...
A Small Spill Accident
"I actually DID know why my laptop wasn't working. I spilled a fair bit of Jack Daniel's on it." —dramaticeffect_
The funny thing is, it must have left a smell, so they probably took an educated guess. Let's hope it was his laptop and not his parents'.
Break And Entry
"I was locked out of my house one day after school. I was about 14. I went to the side garage door and kicked the door in, breaking the frame. I was dumb and didn't expect anything to break and didn't know how to fix it so I just left it.
"My dad found it and assumed someone broke in and called the cops. A squad car came by and the officer looked around. He shined his flashlight at an angle on the door and found my shoe print. Since nothing was found to be stolen, nothing ever happened. But I've never told my dad I was the break-in." —Darxe
It's All About Presentation
"90% of the liquor bottles in their house are filled with water or iced tea, because in high school I'd empty them out, refill the bottle with a liquid similar in color, and then drink the alcohol myself.
"Neither of my parents actually drink anything other than beer/wine, though, so to this day 15 years later they're none the wiser." —loki8481
Sounds like he did them a favor anyway helping them get through it so it wasn't wasted...until the day they have guests over.
Replace The Pet And No One Will Notice, Right?
"At one point, we were playing with our pet lizard outside and he ran away, so we panicked and went off to the pet store to replace him before the parents got home.
"We confessed that one to them after a few days, mostly because the replacement was pretty obviously a different lizard. They responded with, 'Oh, OK. We honestly wouldn't have noticed if you hadn’t replaced him. Why would we care if you have 3 lizards or 4?'" —Janigiraffey
Until The Time Is Right
"That I have a girlfriend. Seriously eastern parents will want to know everything like what her dad does for a living and his social security number...
"I love my parents and my girlfriend, so I believe it would be in the best of interests to keep things secret for now." —[deleted]
Casually Burned The Whole House Down
"It was a couple of weeks after Christmas and we still had our tree and it was extremely dry. My mom was sleeping on the couch and I grabbed a candle from the kitchen and put it to the tree, which went up like a tinderbox and burned the house down.
"It wasn't malicious or anything, just a dumb little kid wanting to see what would happen. Everyone got out safe and we lived with my aunt for a while." —Imapony
Siblings Stick Together
"When we were in middle/high school, my younger brother used to get in trouble at school a lot. Whenever the school called our house to inform my parents, I would answer the phone and pretend to be my dad." —sidestreetdrew
There is an unwritten sibling rule that only they can mess with each other, and the rest of the time they tend to have each others' backs.
Party When The Parents Weren't Home
"My parents decided to get a hotel close to their high school reunion event. Naturally, we threw a giant party. Everything seemed to be fine around 3 a.m. after cleaning up, but we noticed that people had parked on the grass leaving tire tracks all over the lawn.
"The next morning we woke up and were blessed to find a full blanket of snow covering everything in sight. It stayed on the ground for ample enough time that the tracks became totally unnoticeable." —beestingers
Covered Up A Whole Fire
"My brother and I had a fire get out of control and completely burned the entire backyard.
"We got it all put out then used a bedsheet to rake up several loads of leaves from back in the woods to create a new 'carpet' of leaves over the yard. We still haven't told them and that was more than 20 years ago." —eDreadz
They're so lucky the wind didn't blow out that first layer of leaves.
Blame It On The Defenseless Innocent Dog
"We tore up a couch with a knife and blamed it on the dog." —Galvatorrix
That poor dog must have been so confused when he got in trouble. Good thing they're so cute and lovable that you can't stay mad at them for that long. At least not as long as at the kids.
Christmas Presents Are Too Tempting Not To Check In Advance
"I don't think they know about the time we got into the unwrapped Christmas present stash and looked at all our presents. I felt really guilty about it, especially when it came time to unwrap and I had to fake surprise." —Janigiraffey
Every kid is guilty of having done this at some point, it's too much anticipation to wait till Christmas day!
Lesson Learned
"When I was about 8, my little sister and I broke a candy jar. Being the unsupervised children we were, we ate every last piece, probably about 300+ pieces of candy total.
"The next day we were throwing up all day and our parents assumed it was the flu. We didn’t touch another piece of candy for several months after that." —CrispyGingers
Outsmarted Their Own Mother
"My mother purchased a TV that could be locked with a PIN and she did. My brother and I figured it out though as it was very easy (4321). However, after a few weeks, she caught on to it since the TV was warm when she got home. So she changed the PIN to something complicated.
"However, a few days later we distracted her while she entered the PIN for us and watched what buttons she pressed. From then we put a fan next to the TV to keep it cool and we also ran our fingers across the screen to remove static charge when she got home. Worked for years and years." —Cheesebaron
Junk Food Living
"I order tons of junk food (buckets of Popeye's, big pizza for all, etc.) when our parents aren't home. We eat like animals then we destroy all the evidence." —KaptanKoala
That's true living...it's crazy how much of a difference to the soul junk food can make sometimes.
Just Wanted Some Cat Loving
"My mom is terrified of cats, but me and my sister would find cats in our backward and let them in the house for a few minutes and play with them. We made sure they left to go back to their original owners." —Trymex00
This is the best kind of secret you could keep from your parents.
It's All Fixed Now
"I use to sneak on my mom's computer to play Runescape after she went to bed. If I heard my mom walking past the room I was in, I would turn the monitor off and hide under the desk.
"This actually worked pretty well until one night when she couldn't sleep and went into her office to get some work done. She sees me on my hands and knees under the desk. The best excuse 14-year-old me could think of was to say I was fixing the computer, everything is working now..." —FrankenBerryGxM
The Monster Obviously Did It
"I colored all over the wall even though I knew it was against the rules. I told my mom a monster did it. Thank God she fell for it." —flaiad
Sounds like she picked her battles and this one just wasn't one she had any energy to fight that day.
A Brother's Yearly Tradition
"My brother and I get tattoos together each year around Thanksgiving time... Either we are incredibly good at keeping them covered, or my parents aren't the observant type..." —alizr_4
How many tattoos can you get before there is no more room to keep them covered up?
Sneaking In Morning Cartoons
"My sisters and I would get up really early and watch Pokémon on Cartoon Network.
"Back then, we were home-schooled and only allowed to watch Disney Channel and PBS. We thought we were being so naughty." —REAL-2CUTE4YOU
What was wrong with the Cartoon Network?
It Was All From Feeding The Cat Too Much...
"Once I climbed the cat tree and it broke. When my mom was like 'what happened?!' We told her it was the cat because he was getting fat from her feeding him too much.
"It took all our willpower to keep semi-straight faces." —CrepuscularKitten
That poor cat probably had to go on a diet after that.
