Proof That Kid Logic Is Out Of This World
There's no denying that kids run on their own kind of logic where the rules simply don't apply or make much sense. In their world, where they haven't yet learned through trial and error yet, you can count on their innovation and determination to come up with the most absurd solutions and ideas.
A Picasso In The Making
"So my 4-year-old nephew asked me to draw him, Harry Potter, he then excitedly shouted 'I'LL DO THE LEGS!'"
Art is whatever you decide it is. There are modern museums that hang up a white canvas and leave it up to interpretation. Who is to say these drawn legs aren't a product of abstract expressionist modern art?
There's Only Room For One Toddler Around Here
"My sister just had a baby...she brought her home today and my other niece was so pissed that she packed up all her stuff and tried to leave."
It's either she gets all the attention or she wants none of it.
Leading By Example
"My kid swallowed a penny while showing his little brother how he accidentally swallowed a sim key the day before."
The best part is that he did not only swallow a key, this was actually a recurring pattern. Let's hope his little brother did not follow in his footsteps.
They Said He Could Be Anything He Wanted
So he decided to be a football. Who doesn't want to be a piece of rubber that everyone wants to fight over, even injuring themselves physically to sacrifice themselves for it?
It's All About Presentation
"Alfi has been very very picky lately...but loves Taco Bell. So I made a homemade meal and put it in an old Taco Bell bag. And it actually worked."
It's unclear if it worked because the meal still resembles Taco Bell or if he was actually fooled. We wonder if she can serve him eggs and steamed vegetables and still have it work on him.
We All Share Albert's Goal In Life
See, Albert gets it. Except it seems that we're always wishing for what we don't have and then when we get it, such as during a lockdown in a pandemic, it doesn't seem as exciting.
Words Are Overrated Anyway
"Instead of just letting us know verbally she woke up from her nap, or just, ya know, opening up the cracked door, she thought she needed to wave at us from under the door until she got our attention."
This is how you think outside of the box. This kid is going far.
The Best Of Both Worlds
"To avoid perpetuating gender stereotypes, I gave my daughter a mix of dolls and toy cars to play with. This is what happened."
Cars, just like dolls, must get exhausted running up and down the room all day and racing each other.
Lego Has No Effect On This Child
"This is how my son was sleeping. He may be immortal."
Yet somehow when we step on just one piece of Lego, it feels like it pierced right through our feet and we need a minute to sit down.
Never Too Early For Muscles
"Didn't know I was raising a mountain climber."
Ever wondered what makes Olympic athletes so special? It's because this is how young they start to train. Basically, straight out of the womb is a good time to start.
"I See The Moon!"
She may see a white circle, but it's still not quite the moon. Her curiosity and desire to see the moon, however, could be cultivated with a telescope one day. But that's just a camera tripod.
Potatoes, Pumpkins...It All Looks The Same
If this was an apple pie, the kid might have actually gotten away with his ruse until someone took a bite. With the orange soft filling of pumpkin pie, however, it doesn't work so well.
Close Enough
"My daughter made me a 'snowglobe.' Its scraps of cloth floating in a jar of water."
What is a snow globe anyway if not just a see-through piece of glass filled with random items that we shake? This is not far off.
It's Real If It Felt Real
"She won't talk to anyone because the person on the phone hung up on her."
This kind of behavior is actually observed in adults as well. It's like when a woman dreams that her boyfriend cheated and wakes up still feeling angry.
All She Needs Is A Little Taste
"Why is she upset? Because she can't have the corn oil that she is convinced is apple juice."
We'd recommend buying it and allowing her to taste it so she learns her lesson. We often need to learn by experience.
The Logic Is Sound
"5 yr-old niece wants a bunny, so she made this trap on the driveway"
Already, at just 5 years old, she has the hunting basics locked down. To get a wild animal, you must trap it. Usually, bait helps too, but she'll get there.
A Paint Job No One Asked For
"My toddler found a white ink pad and immediately turned into Saruman."
Let's hope the ink hasn't dried yet or is removable with water. Otherwise, she might have to repaint the whole kitchen.
The Elephant In The Room
"No toddler nap today. Reason? 'Elephant hiding in the closet.'"
You've heard of the elephant in the room, but we bet you haven't heard of the elephant in the closet...unless your toddler also uses him as an excuse to skip nap time. One day, they'll wish they could have nap time back.
Considering The Size Of Everything Today
"Was unable to convince my worried son that this was not a mini beehive filled with mini bees."
If you think about it, we live in a world where we try to shrink everything as much as possible. Think of the size of your laptop now compared to your first computer. Bees might start shrinking too one day!
Be Careful What You Put In Your Body
"My kid won't eat her eggs because they have 'dark spots.' Yeah, that's the fork."
They say your body is a temple. It's only fair to be extra careful what you put inside of it. Happy body, happy mind.
Finances 101
"My mom gave my daughter two $1 bills. She took it upstairs and 'made more money.'"
This is the kind of financial information they don't teach you in school, along with how to do your taxes and not accidentally commit fraud.
Teamwork Makes The Dream Work
"My daughter helped finish my wife's drawing today."
Minus the fact that the daughter missed the fact that the whole left side was the ear and felt the need to add another ear on top, it's actually not that bad. The technique has potential.
Reason Kids Cry Number 98990999
"My daughter was furious that we wouldn't let her keep a handful of coins in her mouth."
This isn't even the kind of lesson you can teach her by letting her try it. You just have to put up with the sobbing until they give up or forget.
"18 Years Ago I Got Into The Butter"
And the rest is history.
At least this one is easy to clean, and other than being an unfortunate waste of butter, it wouldn't cause much of an inconvenience. Nothing a trip to the store won't fix.
Stretching While Watching TV
"The way my brother likes to watch YouTube."
They do say it's healthy to get some stretches in while watching TV. Although this looks like a good back stretch, his neck might need some serious stretching afterward.
A Stapler Hack
This is actually a great hack for when you can't seem to find a stapler around but don't want paper files to get mismatched or lost by slipping out of the clip. We wouldn't recommend it using it to hand in your Monday morning report to your boss, but still.
A Game Of Hide And Seek
"This is our 4-year-old niece's hiding place. My wife on the left is the seeker..."
In kid logic, if their eyes are closed and they can't see you, then they basically go invisible and you must also not be able to see them.
Who Doesn't Love Free Stuff?
They say nothing good in life comes for free, but clearly, no one remembered free samples at Costco. It's all about perspective and an appreciation for the small things in life.
For context, the prompt was "What place do you want to go and visit? It can be anywhere in the world." See? Kids aren't that hard to please.
This Is Why We Can't Have Anything Nice
You try to take your kid out for a nice dinner, and they thank you by giving you a scenic view of their feet to enjoy with your meal. This can't be healthy for digestion.
