Parents Who Have Had It Up To Here With Their Kids’ Antics
When you become a parent, people tell you it's going to be hard. What they don't tell you is that it's going to be ridiculous. You expect to have to change diapers and suffer through sleepless nights, but you don't expect your kid to sneeze in your mouth on purpose and then say "you're welcome."
These parents found out the hard way just how wild parenting can be. Keep reading to see their most hilarious tweets.
Soap Smells Like Soap
This kid doesn't like the smell of clean hands. He'd rather have dirty hands because, well, they don't smell so clean. There's something odd about this particular line of thinking.
Learned From The Best
If this kid thinks walking a child around on a leash is what parenting looks like, you have to wonder about her role models. Has she seen a mother dog take care of her puppies recently?
Our Kids Are Always Watching
What's wrong with laughing at your own farts? Farts are hilarious. It's literally gas that smells of poo coming out of a butt. As long as you treat people with kindness, I don't see the problem.
Do You Mind If I Take A Shower?
When you're parenting with your partner, you realize how necessary this question becomes. Shower time isn't a given anymore. It's something that has to be negotiated beforehand and agreed upon.
Snacks All The Time
Cutting down on snacks in a big adjustment for kids. In the end, it's probably good for them, but it doesn't feel good when it's 10:00 a.m. and you haven't had a cookie and pretzels and a handful of baby carrots yet.
When You Teach A Kid To Cook...
Whatever mess a kid can make while eating is at least tripled while cooking. There are just way too many moving parts. Batter gets all over the counter, nothing gets put away, and you end up with a sink full of dishes.
Naps Are Hard
Kids have a lot going on in their little heads. Sometimes they just need to take a break for a minute and sleep it off. Don't ask us what "it" is. We don't know either.
When Kids Can't Tell Time
Look, you probably shouldn't do this. You should be teaching your kids about the passing of time. However, when you really want to leave the park because you've been there for way too long, this trick can come in handy.
She Is Calm
Maybe this girl has been watching too many Taylor Swift videos. Only, Taylor screams it in French in her "Me!" music video. Welcome to womanhood, sister. Things don't get much better from here.
In Minecraft...
I can confidently say that I have no idea what goes on in Minecraft. I'm glad the kids love it, but it is very much not my domain. Go tell your brother about the lava zombies.
Breakfast In Bed
Motherhood is being served breakfast in bed and then not actually getting to eat that breakfast because the kids get to it first. They say it's the thought that counts, right?
What To Expect
If you're currently expecting and you didn't expect to have to fish foreign objects out of your plumbing, expect again. It's best to be prepared with a drain snake and a pair of long rubber gloves.
Parenting Hacks
How long do you think it took before her kids realized that the toy was unfindable? This game also works if you hide the toy in the other room and send the kids to look for it.
Can We Get Some Realism, Please?
This is a very true statement. Those "parents" (if we can even call them that) always look so fresh and bushy-tailed. They never have bags under their eyes, and when they're disappointed they just look very slightly annoyed.
Tell Me A Story
Kids don't appreciate anything these days. You can pull out all the stops and put actual unicorns in your story and they're still not the least bit impressed. She asked for the story!
Behind The Photo
White furniture looks great in pictures, but if you have kids, it just isn't practical. Juice gets spilled on it, dirty shoes get tracked all over the place. It's not a fun time.
When Kids Learn How To Bargain
This kid knows the key to her mother's heart—sleep is worth way more than 100 dollars. This kid might be onto something here. Think of it as an investment in her future.
So Considerate
Wow, this is a big step. Some people's partners don't even do this. We're really proud of this kid. It takes real maturity to take your farts elsewhere. This is what true love looks like.
An Important Question
This kid couldn't go to sleep without knowing the answer to this very important question. Probably 12-ish miles per hour, kid. That's just fast enough to catch a cup of juice before it hits the ground.
Out Of The Mouths Of Babes...
This kid is probably going to be a stand-up comedian one day. He already knows how to completely roast his father. His dad just got roasted harder than the coffee beans at Starbucks.
Enough Waffles
We seriously understand how this mother feels unappreciated for her sacrifice and hard work, but you have to admit that eight waffles is a lot of waffles. Too many waffles, even.
When Kids Whisper
These two tweets tell you everything you need to know about 5-year-olds. When they whisper in your ear, it does feel hot and smell like ketchup. It's quite an experience.
The Smell Of Old Lunch
What is it about preteen kids and leaving food in a locker until it turns black and smells rancid? Is it so hard to remember to bring your lunchbox home?
The Truth About Birthday Pizza
The parents who turn down a slice of pizza are really just trying to look good in front of the other parents. Who actually doesn't want pizza? Nobody. Pizza is delicious.
Cake Math
One big cake on your birthday is much less cake than a small cake every day. This kid has clearly done the math. Yeah, a birthday cake is more special, but who needs special when you can have more cake?
A Sick Burn
The way kids understand what is cool and what is not cool is by how connected their parents are to said thing. If her dad had a convertible, then convertibles are not cool.
Make A Good Thing Better
Macaroni is great. Hotdogs are great. Macaroni with hotdogs is doubly great. But you know how you could make that equation better? Add some chewy fruit-flavored candy bites. Taste the rainbow.
Logic, Though
You really can't argue with a 4-year-old. They will out-logic you every time. That's because their logic doesn't actually depend upon facts or common sense. It's always a winning strategy.
Double Trouble
What's better than a waffle or a pancake? How about a waffle and a pancake at the same time eaten off the same fork? That sounds like a breakfast invention that we could get into.
How Kids Negotiate
Kids always find something to cry about. It doesn't matter that having even one popsicle for lunch is a privilege. Now she wants a cookie? You're pushing your luck, kid.
