Parents Who Tried To Teach Their Kids A Lesson And It Completely Backfired
You learn the hard way that kids aren't given enough credit for how sneaky they are. They will outsmart you, surprise you, and make you completely rethink all of your parenting methods on the daily.
These parents had good intentions, but the kids always find the loophole.
Only Fair To Give Them Both Prizes
"One of my 5-year-old twins was still having occasional accidents because she would get so caught up in playing/doing something else that she just wouldn't go. To combat this we would give her a special prize when she wouldn't have an accident.
"This, in turn, caused her twin sister to START having accidents so she could get prizes too." —KyleRichXV/Reddit
Siblings will never settle for anything less than equal to what the other got.
Outsmarting The Adults
"My kids were begging for a pet. I told them if they could keep their room clean for six months without me telling them, they could get a pet.
"The youngest child proceeds to clean the room, then move his clothes and a sleeping bag into the hallway and lock his door so his room can't get dirty as he sleeps in the hallway." —Reddit
Now that's determination and clever strategizing. The things we do for pets.
Backhanded Compliments Instead Of Insults
"I taught my four-year-old to always compliment people who insulted you. We were shopping and a woman trying on pants and said something rude to my mom who was asking my opinion.
"My daughter caught on that my mother was agitated. She squeezed out behind me and told the woman, 'Your teeth are such a pretty yellow!'" —berthejew / Reddit
Kill them with kindness, kid.
Called The Cops On The Cartoons
"My parents taught me to call 911 when I saw somebody doing something illegal. I called the cops on the Wiggles movie I was watching when I was 5 because a clown stole a cake.
"Luckily, the 911 operator realized I was young and asked to talk to my mom before sending out cops." —Turtelbob / Reddit
Odds are 911 operators get their fair share of giggles out of kids calling.
So Much For Helping A Sister Out
"Not a parent, but as a child, I noticed my sister was writing her name on the walls when she was drawing on them with crayon. I informed her if she was going to graffiti things she shouldn't write her name and give herself away.
"A few weeks later, she was carving patterns into the wooden desk in the study and carved my name into it instead." —[deleted] / Reddit
Just Exercising Their Rights
"I taught them to stand up for what they believe in... All of a sudden they believed veggies were the devil and bedtimes should be abolished." —Penya23 / Reddit
That's when you apply house rules and point out that you can only stand up for what you believe in outside of the house.
The Dreaded "Where Do Babies Come From?"
"When my son was 3 and asked about how babies are born, I sat him down and gave him a very simple, age-appropriate explanation.
"He just looked at me, shook his head, and said just said 'No.' Very calmly but in an 'I can't believe you think that's how it works' tone of voice like I'd told him fake news." —Waitingforadragon / Reddit
Kids aren't given enough credit for how smart they are. You might as well be the one to tell them before they go seek answers in their own ways.
Stranger Danger Doesn't Apply To Everyone
"When I was about two years old, my family was at a game in Angel's stadium. I wandered off. When they eventually found me, I was halfway around the stadium. A crowd had gathered to watch as a police officer held me out at arm's length while I screamed 'call the police, this man is not my daddy' over and over again.
"My parents had taught me stranger danger but forgot to teach me what the police look like." —ghode / Reddit
That poor policeman.
British Accents Make Everything Better
"To explain accommodations at school we told the kids that everybody needs different things to learn. Now, the usual accommodations we offer are special chairs/wiggle seats, extra breaks during the day, and extended testing time, etc.
"One kid decided to take the 'everyone learns differently' lesson to heart and now talks in a fake-British accent all day. Then all of the other kids started talking in fake accents." —partofbreakfast / Reddit
When Repercussions Become The Way Out
"The two-year-old was refusing to wear her hat. It was hot. I told her if she didn't put her hat on she would have to wait in the car. She started walking away from me, so I asked 'Where are you going?’ she said... 'car'" —wisteriahaze / Reddit
In her defense, she listened and still managed to stand her ground.
Rewarding Good Behavior
"I started giving her an allowance and explained that because she helped out and did her chores, she had earned money to spend on whatever she wanted.
"Before I tucked her into bed after reading to her, she goes to her money jar, pulls out 2$ and hands it to me, and explains that it's for being a good daddy." —Tsquaredp / Reddit
Sometimes, it's not so bad when the lesson backfires. Plus, it's about time a kid recognized how much work it is to be a good dad.
Now Say "Whiskey"
"My nephew hated smiling so in pictures my dad would tell him to say 'whiskey.' When he tried cheese it wasn't the same. Anyway, at school the principal was taking a picture of the class and tells everyone to say 'cheese!' My nephew very loudly says WHISKEY." —anon_2326411 / Reddit
I'm sure there was a follow-up conversation with the parents right after that...
Imagine Calling A Parent By Their Last Name
"They were trying to teach my cousin manners, and wanted him to address people as Mr. and Mrs. They used each other as examples, and consequently were known as Mr. Iannuccilli for two months. " —AphrodesiacBirds / Reddit
The kid would actually call out "Mr. Iannuccilli!" instead of "dad" in the middle of the night. You can't blame them for doing what they were told.
Don't Be Giving Them Any Ideas
"When I was around 12, my father suspected that I stayed up late playing videogames, even though I didn't. One night, he went into my room and told me that I shouldn't play my Game Boy Advance past bedtime because I needed to rest.
"That's when I realized I could play my Game Boy Advance past bedtime, and I've suffered from insomnia since then." —Monfo / Reddit
It's when you get into the habit that it becomes tough to break.
"Life Isn't Fair, Momma"
"I've been teaching my kids that life isn't always fair to avoid tantrums.
"Then I was playing tic tac toe with my youngest. She covered up the column she wanted to use to win. When I told her that's cheating isn't fair and I didn't want to play if she was going to cheat, she reminded me: 'life isn't fair, momma.'" —miseleigh / Reddit
Better to learn that lesson early on.
Maybe Just One Sip
"My parents did the thing where they gave the 4-year-old me a sip of Budweiser under the impression that I would say that it was yucky and then turn it into some lesson about not drinking what mommy and daddy drink.
"I instead took a sip and said 'Mmm! Can I have one?' The lesson that beer is good has lasted to adulthood." —drinkmoreshowerbeer / Reddit
Nothing beats a refreshing beer on a hot day—or any day, to be honest.
Ignorance Is Bliss
"I taught my son to read by age 4, and my daughter by age 3. This led to some unwanted conversations. They would read things over your shoulder when I wasn't expecting it.
"Or even just signs on the road and yell 'You're going too fast, Daddy. It says 55 mph and you're going 70.'" —cadomski / Reddit
Can't blame the kids for stating the truth.
Would This Be Considered A Loss Or Win?
"My sister tried to teach her kids not to gamble, so she bought a few lottery tickets to show them that they were all going to be losers. She won $500." —RedditPoster05 / Reddit
What's the trick? How do the rest of us win $500 too? They say good things happen when you least expect them, so maybe the trick is to expect the worst.
House Rules Aren't Set In Stone
"Taught my daughter that whining and begging don't get her what she wants. She needs to make a logical argument. I now live with a 12-year-old lawyer who is really good at making me change my mind on house rules." —MrRGG / Reddit
One day, when she's a successful lawyer who makes bank, the parent will finally thank themselves.
There's A Way To Justify Everything
"Told my children they should always have a good reason for what they want to do as a way to curb impulsive behavior. I now hear about ALL THE REASONS constantly." —Shanisasha / Reddit
Where there's a will, there's a way—this is not a can of worms you want to open.
Don't Let The Kids Pick Their Own Punishment
"I read a book that suggested you ask your kid what an appropriate punishment for misbehaving would be and then carry it out.
"My 6-year-old son pinched his brother, so we asked him what an appropriate punishment would be. He said: 'Pluck out my eyeballs and throw me over a cliff.' We didn't carry it out." —Mungobrick / Reddit
The kid obviously knew if he suggested something absurd they would have to go back on their word.
Be Careful What You Sign up For
"My daughter wanted to try out for Beauty and the Beast but she got nervous and backed out. My husband stepped in and said that he would also audition to demonstrate to her that it's okay to audition for something that you don't think you're going to make.
"She ended up not only just making it, but my husband also got the part of Maurice, Belle's father. He didn't even want to be in the play." —chipdipper99 / Reddit
At least they'll be getting plenty of bonding time.
Make Sure To Define "Authority"
"Successfully taught my child to question authority. Forgot I was an authority." —AkumaBengoshi / Reddit
This is such a dilemma because you want your kids to see you as an authority figure, but at the same time, you want to be distinctive from other authorities because you want them to understand your rules still overrule all other authorities. So complicated.
What Goes Up Must Come Down
"Taught my toddler how to go upstairs, but I didn't realize that going downstairs was, in fact, a completely different and far more dangerous skill. Lucky for us, the kid seems to have finally grasped the finer points of head protection." —Nash_Rambler / Reddit
This is why toddlers should never be left unsupervised. They are fearless.
Joke Was On Mom
"Told my children repeatedly that if I found any more mess/junk on their bedroom floor, I would be donating it to the thrift store. I told them they had 15 minutes to clean it up off the floor.
"Came back to find everything picked up, except they went into the kitchen cupboards and had put every food they didn't like in a nice neat pile right in the middle of the floor." —mollymuppet78 / Reddit
I wish I thought of that when I was a kid to get out of much-hated spinach and broccoli.
Table Manners Don't Apply To Toddlers
"She was trying to teach her kid the 'don't talk with your mouth full' rule. Instead, the kid just spits out their food when they want to talk. Children are the absolute masters of malicious compliance." —MisterCrispy / Reddit
The worst part: what a waste of good food that is! What could they possibly have to say as a kid that's that important?
Better To Not Even Give Kids The Choice
"I followed the 'offer your kids two appropriate choices advice,' like 'do you want broccoli or carrots with dinner?' My children quickly learned to just say things like 'no, I'd like a candy bar or a cookie. Your choice.' Right back at me." —fiddlemonkey / Reddit
These are expert negotiators in the making. They will make great car salesmen one day.
Kids Saying It Exactly How It Is
"My five-year-old asked why we need veggies and I used this as an opportunity to get her to eat her veggies so I told her if she wanted to grow up at all she needs to eat lots of veggies.
"But now I can't enjoy a bag of chips at home anymore. She'll walk in shake her head and tell me to go easy 'because you're done growing UP, so you can only grow out...'" —ExtraLucky13 / Reddit
Nothing like a kid warning you'll be fat to ruin your day.
Garbage Goes In the Trash
"We taught our one-year-old daughter to throw her dirty diapers in the trash can and she says 'good girl.' Now when everything and anything gets thrown in the trash she says 'good girl.'" -[deleted] / Reddit
This will have her congratulating everyone for throwing the garbage where it belongs.
Swear Jar With A Cause
"We started a swear jar and all agreed the money will go to help animals at the local shelter. Got all the rules down with the kids and were excited to start. The daughter immediately swears and says 'gonna help the animals!' before the wife and I can even process what she got away with." —LeeKinanus / Reddit
You can't even get mad at her when her intentions were so pure.