Parents Share Their Kids’ Funniest Reactions To How Sex Works
One of the questions parents dread most is when their kid is old enough to ask them where babies come from. Many parents actually avoid giving the truth the first time around and get creative with their answers. When the kids finally do find out the truth, their reactions can be priceless.
Three Times Only
For this woman's sake, we hope it's been a few more times than three, but that's definitely information the kids do not need to know. Not today or ever.
Even as adults, we do everything in our power to forget where exactly we came from and how.
Close, But Not Quite
This is what happens when parents think they dodged a bullet by feeding their kids innocent white lies.
They hold on to that information as the truth, and you bet it's going to come out at the most inconvenient times.
Home Sweet Home
Kids will actually blow your mind with their sweet words and trains of thought. It's quite impressive for a 5-year-old to perceive their mom's belly as their first home.
Hopefully, this thought stays with them during their teenage years, too, when Mom says no to them staying out past curfew.
Pregnant At Four
There is actually some logic to this. Clearly, her mom forgot to mention a small detail when she didn't mention that you have to actually hit puberty first.
The kid has quite a few years of living carefree left in her.
Daddy's Special Seed
Well, Dad's not wrong. His special seed did lead to the birth of the young man asking him about that very same seed.
Let's not leave the responsibility of answering all these questions to Mom—they both should suffer together.
A Worldwide Phenomenon
Kids are in fact born worldwide. In fact, in the span of time it took you to read this sentence, which is about a second, about five babies were born.
About 385,000 babies are born each day according to the UN. That adds up to more than 140 million a year!
Some Baby Shopping
How nice would it be if you could go shopping for babies and pick their hair color and favorite food?
That way, at least, it would be just as easy to return or exchange them when the tantrums become overwhelming.
Animals Set The Example
Someone should probably warn her there are some key differences.
Otherwise, the poor girl is going to think that just like animals, humans can be pregnant anywhere from a month to 12 and pop out 12 babies at once.
Strong And Healthy Young Man
It's actually quite endearing when kids don't understand social cues. This is going to be the story that they never live down every year at the holiday family dinners.
It never hurts to build confidence at a young age though!
It's An Unfair World
Unfortunately, it doesn't take long before kids become aware of the many inequalities of our world.
Women have to carry a watermelon-sized baby in their stomach for nine months while their partners get to sit pretty on the couch drinking beer.
No More Hiding
Hopefully, now that she's older, they can reveal to her that it's also an act of love between two people who want to bond with each other.
For the time being, it seems like a good way to avoid any further accusations.
Nudie Just Like Mom And Dad
We're confused as to what exactly mom and dad wear around the house... However, it's not uncommon to let kids run around naked up to a certain age.
Then it becomes a little less socially accepted.
Based On A True Story
It can be hard for kids to understand how a baby that size can fit through such a small space.
It makes more sense to believe it's a joke than to believe it.
It's A Complicated Process
As someone cleverly replied back to this tweet "this gives new meaning to 'trust the process.'"
Can you imagine if "the process" led to a baby every single time? There wouldn't be enough space on this planet.
Stating The Facts
The child simply stated the facts. It just happened to be at the worst time and without the mother's consent.
Hopefully, she didn't steal the spotlight away from the bride.
"What Time Do You Do It?"
Kids truly have no filter. They have no idea what they're even asking.
Although their curiosity should be encouraged, it's hard to explain to them where the line needs to be drawn.
There Has To Be Another Way
Luckily, with today's resources, there are other ways to have your own baby.
The only thing is that someone will have to carry that baby no matter what, it just no longer always has to be you.
Adoption Is The Exception
In the kids' eyes, they dodged a huge bullet by not having to bring them into the world themselves.
If this makes them feel better for the time being, then perhaps it doesn't hurt to let them believe it for a while longer.
Spare Your Wives
This young man sounds like he will grow out to be quite the protective gentleman. These are the kind of boys we want to see become men.
The fact that even at 10, he understood that childbirth for his sister should be a choice is incredible.
Just For Fun
Clearly, these kids are missing the point. While yes, there is a purpose to it sometimes, other times, it's just fun.
Maybe we need to rethink the way we explain where babies come from altogether and focus on the "when two people love each other" part a little more.
A Done Deal
How relieving that once you have a kid, you get it over with and you never have to do it again.
Little do they know this is the reason behind a lot of divorces.
At Least She's Thankful
It's not often that kids express their gratitude, so this girl must have really thought of this as an act so horrible that she must have only done it out of love for her.
It's unclear why it would be embarrassing, however...maybe because of the naked part.
If Only It Were That Easy
This kid is going to be very confused when every time they pass a claw machine, they can't find the one with babies in it.
Plus, when is the last time someone actually was able to claw anything out of those machines? It's like they're designed for you to lose.
All It Takes Is Backrubs
This would be quite problematic if it were true. The kid might end up being terrified of back rubs going forward.
Maybe backrubs aren't a bad way to start, though.
Avoid The Question Altogether
Sometimes, for your own sake, it's better to just avoid the question at all costs.
At least that way, you don't have to lie about it and deal with those consequences later, either.
Playing Dead Works Too
Any distraction is a good distraction at this point. The only problem is the question will likely come up a few times, so how many times are your kids going to believe you keep getting resurrected?
Eventually, you'll just have to face their reaction.
They'll Make You Doubt Yourself
Your kid's questions and reaction might be so good that you'll end up doubting it yourself.
Even though you were there and did it yourself, it seems safer to fact-check with a quick Google search.
Carrying The Weight Of The World
Remember how we said that about five babies are born each second?
Can you imagine what that would even look like if they were all popping out of the same body?
Just 'Cause Dad Doesn't Have To Deal With It...
We can only wonder where the toddler got that information from. Maybe he can go back to the source and actually get that Groupon link for his mom.
It would at least save on the hospital bill.
It Never Gets Old
No matter how many times you live it yourself, the moment you actually take the time to think about it, the way babies are made will never cease to be amazing.
Just like that, one body becomes two, and new life is given to a whole other human. How can anyone wrap their head around that, let alone a kid?
