Parents Share The Absurd Reasons They’ve Had To Pick Their Kids Up From School
As a parent, you're bound to have at least one occasion where you're at work or home or wherever and you get a call from the school asking you to pick your kid up: maybe the kid is sick, maybe they peed their pants, or maybe they got in trouble.
While some reasons are pretty normal and valid, others venture out into the realm of absurdity. These parents on Reddit shared the hilarious reasons that they've been asked to get their child from school, and we're howling.
I Mean, I Get Where He Was Coming From
"I got a call that my son was sick and that I had to come to pick him up. He was completely fine that morning, so I was confused. I picked him up and, on the walk home, I asked what was up. He said he had to fart really badly and didn't want to do it in class."
—[deleted] / Reddit
I'm Bringing S*** Back
"My kid got in huge trouble in kindergarten. A girl in his class told the teacher that he'd said the S-word. They called me, and I went to pick him up and said, 'So, what's the S-word?' And he stared at his shoes and whispered, 'Sexy.'
"Confirmed by the little tattletale, all of this was caused by 'sexy.'"
—Reddit / hahahahthunk
That's Not Even A Good Name To Use
I'm sorry, kid, but how are you going to make a slew of prank phone calls and not have a name like "Hugh Jass" or something in the same vein prepared?
Why Would He Attempt That In The First Place?
"The daycare called me in a panic because my four-year-old son decided to put the training potty seat around his neck and it got stuck. I showed up to see the fire department had arrived and they were able to get it off quickly, but they did take a picture before for me to keep."
—Reddit / Maxtrt
It Didn't Click Until The End
"I was called to collect my son when he was in first grade because 'he was being disrespectful to his classmates.' They wouldn't explain further. My son told me that Jeffrey pantsed him, but that made no sense. About an hour later the light bulb went on in my head: 'You didn't wear underwear today, did you?'
"He had not."
—Reddit / eaterct
This Is A Pretty Wholesome Mistake To Make
"My youngest child had a slight speech impediment where he would replace his S's with F's to approximate the sound. I had to have a chat with the daycare director at pick-up time because I'd absentmindedly used the phrase 'so long suckers' when pulling away from some traffic lights the day before and my son had liked the sound of it so much he used it himself."
—Reddit / badgermonkey007
No Canines Were Hurt In The Process Of This Story
"My six-year-old is big into aviation history, primarily World War II planes, so we found this show all about epic battles between planes throughout various wars. His teacher called me very concerned when my son went to school and told everyone how every day when he'd get home, his parents would let him watch Dog Fights. She started laugh-crying with relief when I explained it was the name of the show and we weren't actually hosting a pitbull arena in our backyard."
—Reddit / ismellcatpee
That's Just Good Business Management
"Funniest one I've ever heard (not my own child, who's deceptively well-behaved at school) was a parent having to come to get their kid after they were caught selling imaginary friends to the younger students for $1 apiece."
—Reddit / echisholm
I Hope Her Mom Isn't In Jail Now!
You know, kids have a knack for saying the wrong thing and not even considering the consequences of it. I bet this mom never cooked a meal with parsley again!
Why Stick It There In The First Place?
"My son got his finger stuck in his desk. The teacher tried using oily substances to help pull it out, but it wouldn't budge. They had to carry the desk all the way down a long hallway to the principal’s office as he did the walk of shame beside it. I showed up as the fire truck pulled away after cutting the desk open to free his finger."
—Reddit / Texas_Crazy_Curls
This Is Why You Need To Wash Your Sheets
"My mother was called to pick me and my twin sister up in the fourth grade because we were turning blue. We felt fine though. It was only after she arrived that we all remembered she had put brand-new blue flannel sheets on our bed the night before. Apparently, she hadn't washed them first."
—Reddit / CrotchetyNurse
I'd Give Him An "A" For Effort, Though
"I was called in because his class was going on a field trip that my son forgot to give me the permission slip for. He decided to give forgery a whirl—this was in first grade so the handwriting was awful. He also signed my name as 'Mom.'"
—Reddit / mulletamore
I Blame Bruno Mars
"I had to talk to the director of the daycare because my three-year-old son allegedly told another kid, 'I'm gonna f*** you up.' Turns out he was singing Bruno Mars—'Uptown funk you up.'"
—Reddit / coltwalk20
Sounds Like The Teacher's Problem To Me
"I was the kid and I was in third grade. I climbed on a tree (not even that high) and then I wanted to climb down.
"A teacher saw me and told me to stay there and not to move. I told her it's no problem for me to come down. She insisted I stay there and turned around to call the fire department to get me down. I had enough and climbed down anyway and then she called my mom because 'it was my fault the fire brigade was called for no reason.'"
—Reddit / JenJMLC
Save Your College Stories For When The Kid Is In College
"I made the mistake of telling my stepdaughter about the professor I had in college that we knew never read our papers so it turned into a class game to fit ridiculous sentences and bad jokes into the middle of them to see if we'd ever get caught.
"Later, I got called for a phone conference because she turned in a history paper that was chock full of awful puns that were not appreciated."
—Reddit / AbortRetryImplode
This Is Why It's Dangerous To Let Your Kids Listen To Punk Rock
"I was in sixth grade and in my 'emo phase' so I was wearing a lot of black eyeshadow from Claire's. I guess I wasn't so good at my makeup yet because they called my mom into the office to discuss my injuries and who was 'hurting me.'"
—Reddit / GloomyBaby4
That's A Real Catch-22
"My teacher cited my mom because she said I was writing too slowly and turned my test in right as the bell rang. My mom had to leave work early to hear about her child writing slowly. The reason I was writing so slowly was that, on my last test, I was docked points for handwriting, so this time I made sure I had the nicest handwriting that teacher had ever seen."
—Reddit / StinkyJockStrap
I Admire His Commitment To The Bit
"My nephew was staying with me for two months and I showed him an episode of Dexter's Laboratory for the first time. The next day, his school called me to pick him up because he would only say 'omelette du fromage' to any interaction."
—Reddit / Hawkov
She Will Be A Great Con Artist One Day
"I received a voicemail from my daughter's school saying she had been throwing up and to please hurry and come get her. When I got to the school, the receptionist showed me to a room where my daughter had a trashcan on her lap. She told me my daughter kept announcing she was throwing up and then would cough and spit into the trashcan.
"She had no fever and was otherwise cheerful and talkative. I signed her out and, when we got into my car, she jumped forward and kissed my cheek, and told me she missed me and where would I like to go for lunch. That kid busted herself out of preschool to finagle a lunch date with me. It worked."
—Reddit / noelleptc
Kids Just Say The Darndest Things!
"My little brother liked cheese and mustard sandwiches, so my mom made him them for lunch. Once, when the teacher asked why he didn't have any meat on his sandwich, he said either 'we can’t afford meat' or 'my mom doesn't let me' or something along those lines. Whatever he said was enough to send CPS over to the house."
—[deleted] / Reddit
This Is The Epitome Of "Boys Being Boys"
"My son went to a private Catholic school from first grade through eighth grade. I had a nun call me one day because my son and a friend were having a peeing for distance contest in the bathroom. Another time I was called because my son was looking to see if the dictionary had the word 'penis' in it."
—[deleted] / Reddit
Teaching Is, Perhaps, Not The Right Profession For Her
"My child's first-grade teacher was upset that he had accidentally smooshed a butterfly on the playground at recess and she called me in. When I got there, my child was also missing his glasses. She hadn't noticed this."
—Reddit / AMHousewife
Seems Legal To Me
"In my senior year of high school, I was nearly not allowed to graduate and my family was called because I had 'forged' my own name on a permission slip in the guardian section. I was 18."
—Reddit / Redneckalligator
Imagine The Hospital Bill On This
I just know that this girl's mom was so mad when she found out that there was, in fact, nothing wrong with her child other than her affinity for Hannah Montana jokes.
UNO Reverse Card The Principal
"The principal called us and looked at us with a stern look of disapproval while telling us our son, who was about five or six, was using bad language. I then proceeded to explain to her that my wife and I only spoke French at home and we did not have television. The only English our son had ever heard was at school, so I asked her what she was going to do about it. It was one of the shortest conversations I ever had with a principal."
—Reddit / TheWiseOne1234
Kids Are So Stupid
"I got a phone call earlier this year from the school nurse, saying she was concerned because my son had passed out while in the lunch line. I went to pick him up and he seemed a little dazed but OK. My kid couldn't remember anything about what happened beforehand, so I made an appointment with his pediatrician for an hour later.
"Right as we were getting ready to leave, he sheepishly said, 'Mom, I just remembered that right before I passed out, we were playing a game to see who could turn their face the reddest.'
"So, my kid had me thinking he had a brain tumor but no, he just held his breath until he passed out."
—Reddit / echeveria_rn
Literally Falling Apart At The Seams
"My daughter's grandmother (my mother) had given a silk warm-up suit to my daughter. Not knowing it was silk, we washed it with the regular wash. Our daughter wore it to school the next day. I then got a call from the school requesting that I pick her up because her clothes were falling apart. By the time I got to the school, her clothes were absolutely shredded."
—Reddit / Lumbergod
You'd Think They'd Just Know After The First Time...
"I got banned from wearing my favorite yellow shirt to school because the public health nurse kept thinking I had yellow jaundice. It did not bleed dye onto me. I was so white that the color reflected onto my skin."
—Reddit / Tamarack29
Teamwork Makes The Dream Work!
"When my son was in the second grade, he decided that instead of helping one of his fellow classmates with his work, that he would just do the work for him. When I asked him why, his answer was, 'So our table would the first table to get snacks.'"
—Reddit / MrsBossSergeant
