Parents Share How They Really Feel About Kids’ TV Shows
Being a parent is great because you always have a kid to take with you when a new Disney movie comes out in theaters. You imagined yourself getting to relive all your favorite movies with them, but what you didn't realize is that children's TV programs are the worst.
Peppa Pig, Dora, Elmo—you're going to grow to hate them just a little bit, and then you'll have to question why you feel resentment toward a cartoon character. The only upside is eventually they'll move on from Paw Patrol, but you'll never forget it.
And Today He's Going To Tell You About It 81 Times
Once your kid finds their favorite show, you're going to do everything you can to change that show, because you never want to hear about Elmo, or listen to Elmo, or sing with Elmo, or tickle Elmo again for as long you live.
This Is Setting Unrealistic Expectations For Life
There are so many things that happen in kids' TV shows that simply aren't viable, and yet we're all just supposed to move on and pretend it's fine that there are basically no parental figures or supervision for any of these kids' cartoon characters.
Oscar Was Just Misunderstood
The storylines from your kid's shows start to mirror your own life, until one day, your kid compares you to Oscar the Grouch and you realize you can't even argue with them.
You Can Quote Every Episode
The biggest problem with children's television shows is that the episodes are too short. They go by too quickly, which is how you end up watching an entire season of one show on repeat for weeks.
An Unsolvable Dilemma
The correct answer is both, because you're never going to get to watch an adult show on TV again, but you're going to spend what feels like eternity watching Max try to find his shadow in 20-minute increments.
Hopefully, It's Out Of Sight Out Of Mind
You can toss Peppa Pig into the trash along with those two. The key is to periodically hide DVDs that your kids watch too much, then cycle through "finding" them and "losing" other ones so you don't go crazy.
Okay, But Why Is Caillou Bald?
Literally no adult enjoys watching Caillou. There are some TV shows that are bearable and you don't mind watching them with your kids, but Caillou is not one of them.
Why Does He Live In A Pineapple Under The Sea?
A lot of children's TV shows have some weird characters or wacky storylines, and you can't help but wonder: Who is in charge of creating these shows, and why exactly are they the ones in charge?
These Are The Questions That Haunt You
The more you watch, the more confusion there is. Your adult brain is going to overthink all of it, and soon you'll find yourself debating whether DW needed to go to anger management classes.
What Are They Teaching These Kids?
Sometimes, you're going to watch a few episodes of a show with your daughter and you're going to end up leaving more confused than she is. Mostly, you'll be confused about what this show is teaching her about society.
It's A Glorious Moment
The day will come when your child decides on their own that they no longer like the show you've spent days, weeks, or months watching, and that day will be great for all of you.
Is She Wrong?
You have to pick your battles as a parent, and in this particular instance, there's nothing to fight about because she's absolutely right. There's no battle here, Elmo is torture.
Old Habits Die Hard
You tell yourself that you hate your kid's TV shows and that you can't wait to watch something for adults, but then your kids are gone, you're overwhelmed by the choices on Netflix, and you end up watching Paw Patrol anyway.
It's Half Past Daniel Tiger
Since kids' TV shows play at the wonkiest times and nothing is ever a full half an hour or hour long, your sense of time is all messed up, but you still know exactly when the next episode of Toopy and Binoo is coming on.
Making Your Dreams Come True
Have you ever dreamed of hearing Cookie Monster tell you to turn left at the next intersection? No? Well, it's going to happen anyway, so you might as well embrace it.
Mickey Mouse Is Ageist
If your kid watches more modern shows that have been released recently, chances are they're going to make you feel seriously old. The other option is they watch older shows and you have to explain basic things to them, so either way you're dating yourself.
They Slowly Wear You Down
While you might think that things like paying for college tuition or trying to get three toddlers to bed are going to be what breaks you, TV shows are really going to be the things that do it. Try watching Paw Patrol every day for a year and tell us you haven't lost your mind.
Every Episode Is A Feature Film
Listening to your son try to tell you a story about his day is hard enough, but listening to your son try to tell you what just happened on an episode of anything is 10 times worse.
Asking The Important Questions
Children's TV shows leave adults with a lot more questions than answers, and the more episodes you watch, the more questions you're going to have, so don't think about it too hard.
Watch It All Burn
Your daughter might absolutely love Dora, but that probably means that you absolutely hate her and her dumb backpack, because she's the one you have to spend your life listening to.
It Hits Different With Someone Else's Kid
You're going to lose your mind if your kids ask you to watch one more episode of Paw Patrol, but if someone else's kid asks you, you're ready to roll out everything you know.
Are You Still Watching?
You put on a TV show to entertain your kids, then you get into the plot of the episode and when it ends, you realize your kids wandered off approximately 19 minutes ago.
Selective Remembering
You have a wealth of knowledge surrounding the plots of your child's favorite TV shows, but if you were asked to name five of your coworkers, you probably wouldn't be able to do it.
When The Time Is Right
When the songs start to seep deep into your everyday life, that's when you know you've hit rock bottom, so you might as well embrace it and enjoy the song.
A Private Purgatory
Nothing is as bad as getting a song or a scene from one of your kid's shows stuck in your head, especially if the people around you don't understand it or don't know the song.
A Blessing And A Curse
Once you give up on the whole "no screens" parenting method, you'll learn that having screens is just as bad as not, because now you have to watch children's television shows instead of no television at all.
The Soundtrack Of Your Life
Even when the TV is turned off, the soundtrack of your kid's favorite show is going to take over your life. The soundtrack will play in the car, in the bathroom, everywhere. You can never be without a Sesame Street song.
You Can Pretend They're The Same
Or so you've heard. You don't have the chance to ever watch Law & Order since you're busy wrangling your kids back into bed at night, but you imagine you're watching it while Scooby-Doo plays.
You Said They Could Watch, Not Pick
You may have agreed to let your kids watch TV before bed, but if you're going to have to sit and listen to it, it might as well be something you want to watch, right?
The Rules Of The Game Have Changed
Chances are if your kid is watching a show that's been on since you were a child, or even one that's been on for a couple of years, something will have changed since it first aired. Nothing stays the same.
