Parents Are Sharing The Craziest Things Their Kids Have Said Or Done
Nobody said parenting would be easy. We were prepared for hard times. What we weren't prepared for was the absolute absurdity that comes out of our kids' mouths on a daily basis. Kids really do say the darndest things. Back in the day, we had to wait for Bill Cosby to share those darned things with us (thank goodness that period of history is over). Nowadays, we can just check Twitter for those updates.
Keep reading to see the funniest parenting tweets on the internet.
Special Nose Medicine
This poor mom has a cold, and now, on top of that, she has to deal with her kids telling all of the neighbors that she takes "special nose medicine."
An Accurate Observation
Okay, she may not technically be right, but something tells me that the dog did look sort of pig-like. There's nothing wrong with being a little rounder around the middle.
A Whole Ship Of Them
This little girl thinks that everyone is saying "corona pirates" all the time, and honestly, that would be the most wholesome thing we've ever heard if it didn't come about because of a deadly global pandemic.
A Smart Kid
Yes, mashed potatoes are made out of potatoes and french fries are made out of potatoes. However, the cooking process impacts both flavor and nutrition. I think this dad's logic is flawed here.
Whatever You Say, Kid
Are artichokes rude? It's very possible. They do look rather prickly. However, we strip artichokes of their leaves and eat their hearts, so maybe we're the rude ones after all.
He's Come Undone
This kid is making a lot of sense. Unfortunately for him, he still needs to put away the pieces. You can't leave things lying around the house even if cleaning is the last thing you want to do.
Unpacking The Paradox
This kid is absolutely right. How are you supposed to have a good day at school if you spent the whole day at school? Sure, you learned some stuff, but you were still at school.
He's Going To Be A Doctor
Who knows? Maybe a little piece of sausage is just what the doctor ordered... Although, if he did actually have a cut on his finger, he should probably disinfect the heck out of it now.
Very True
Why do we even bother asking little kids questions? This two-year-old came up with an answer that is both true and totally unhelpful. I guess we should have expected this.
A Piece Is A Piece Is A Piece
I would say that yes, a whole cake is a piece. A piece can be as big or as small as you want it to be. There is no standard piece measurement.
Why Waste Money On Napkins?
This kid is just trying to save his mom some money. She wouldn't have to waste money on napkins if he could just use whatever fabric was close to his face.
Homework Not Completed
This girl might be done with her homework, but that doesn't mean that she completed it. She's just tired of staring at the same five math problems over and over again.
Kid Logic
Sometimes, kid logic is the best logic. You know what, kid? Drying dishes is the air's job. Maybe Mom should just go take a break and watch Grey's Anatomy for the fifth time and let the air do its thing.
The Brain-Mouth Connection
Sometimes kids know better in their brains, but they can't control their mouths. How can you argue with this logic? This kid has a point. Sometimes my mouth says things it shouldn't too.
That's Not How Showering Works
These kids think that they have hygiene figured out. That's not necessarily the case. If you can clean yourself for 100 days in a row, that doesn't mean that you get 100 days off from bathing.
Feet Traps
You know, I don't entirely disagree with this kid. Shoes are most definitely feet traps. But they also do protect your feet, so Mom is right too. They can both be right.
Who Needs Pants?
Pants are restrictive and annoying. Sometimes you just need to close the door on them and open another chapter. This kid has the right idea. I mean, he still has to wear pants, but we applaud this moment of rebellion.
The Practice Round
If you're wondering whether or not you should have kids, here's a strong argument in favor. You can use them as guinea pigs to try out new hairstyles. Think about it.
Catherine Obvious
This makes my heart hurt because of how wholesome it is. This girl is 9 years old. That's plenty old enough to know that it's actually "captain obvious." What an adorable, sheltered kid.
That's Called Blinking
This kid might just be onto something. We should all try winking with two eyes at the same time every now and again. Maybe we should try blinking and not opening our eyes for six to eight hours at night, too.
A Smart Cookie
This girl definitely knows how to play the game. And you'd better believe that she got a second grilled cheese sandwich. Flattery and giving your dad a challenge will get you everywhere.
I'll Do Whatever You Say
Well, now that this kid said something made his heart hurt, I'm going to give him whatever he wants. It's only fair. I can't have a 5-year-old with a hurt heart.
The Comparison Is Not Flattering
So this kid thinks that her dad looks like an octopus. There are worse comparisons that she could have made. At least she didn't imply that he looks like a pig.
Make It Again, Peasant!
Three-year-olds have very specific needs when it comes to breakfast foods, and some of those needs involve them looking enough like Mickey Mouse. We just want them to get nutrients!
Pick Another Name
I think this mom should have just let her son name his puppy Nipple. It rhymes with ripple, plus it's super funny. Imagine him having to explain that name to everyone for the next 16 or so years.
Picky Eaters
There are many reasons why you might be proud of your kid, but if I got a round of applause every time I ate chicken nuggets, I might develop some unhealthy habits. Just saying.
The Problem With Green Tortillas
There is no way in the world that a three-year-old is going to eat green tortillas. Maybe he could try telling her that they're Hulk tortillas or something? I don't know how this can be salvaged.
When Kids Cook
In theory, we love it when kids cook. They get to learn some new skills, and it keeps them occupied for a while. In practice, it means there are a lot of extra dishes to clean.
A Short Trip To A Meltdown
Don't ever tell your toddler how they feel, even if it's super obvious that they're tired. The only response you'll ever get to that suggestion is a major crying meltdown.
The Worst Sound
We love to hear our kids laughing. It's a fantastic sound. This guy definitely knows what the worst sound in the world is, though. It's worse than nails on a chalkboard.
