Men Who Should Be Single (But Somehow Still Aren’t)
Girlfriends and wives put up with a whole lot of chaos. When you put the ring on your finger, you basically sign up for years and years of damage control at the low low cost of only half your sanity.
Here are some guys who somehow are in stable and happy relationships despite living on a completely different planet than their partner. And that planet is on fire, flooding, and filled with people screaming all at the same time.
When You Send The Hubby For Groceries And There's An Ice Cream Sale...
I'm sorry, what exactly did this guy plan on eating for the next week—just ice cream?
I've heard of people blowing their grocery budgets on organic and grass-fed beef, but 50 pints of ice cream is a new one for me.
Hope The Joke Was Worth It
If you want to risk not eating for the rest of your week, sleeping on the couch, and not speaking to your wife ever again, then I really encourage you to pull this prank on your spouse.
I see no flaws in this plan.
Fitted Sheet: 1, Husband: 0
This sheet isn't made to do what it doesn't want to do, and the same goes for this husband.
Now, I'm not sure jumping on the rebellious train is a good idea on laundry day when your partner is just trying to hold everything together, but hey, everyone's got a hill to die on.
Just In Case He Forgot
This husband is me with a label-maker.
I'd feel the labeling monkey on my shoulder begging me to just tag everything like some kind of middle-class suburban graffiti artist.
"I Asked My 6'2" Husband To Hang A Mirror For Me"
This poor lady's going to have no idea what she looks like for the next conceivable future.
All she's going to know is if her hair bun looks fine or not. My advice is to avoid red lipstick for a little while.
"My Husband Wanted To Make Dinner Tonight In the Crock-Pot. Those Used To Be Hot Dogs"
The thought of crock-pot hotdogs actually makes me want to put all of my hopes and dreams in a blender and set it to "ice crush."
I'm done with humanity and life at this point.
Some Really Intimate And Attentive Father/Baby Time
Here's a fun I-Spy game—spot the baby lying on the floor by itself.
It's a hard game to play because you're going to be distracted by the father sitting on his phone among all the baby toys on the baby's mat.
This Husband Borrowed One Of His Wife's "Eye Masks"
Why would you ever invest in expensive sleeping masks with cooling gel inserts when you can just slap one of your wife's bras over your face?
It's called saving money, look it up.
The Target SOS Sign
This craft store aisle cry for help is relatable for many husbands and boyfriends, I'm sure.
When you're pushing hour three helping your partner pick out shades of glitter for a scrapbook you're definitely going to feel yourself losing hope.
He Bought An Expensive Vintage Watch Just To Tell His Girlfriend This
I'm loving the commitment that this boyfriend has to his jokes.
I've been writing this on calculators since I was a child, so it's nice to see the adult version of my child humor here.
Should I Bring My Drill To Make Whipped Cream? I'll Bring My Drill
I'm not sure what it is with husbands, but any chance they get they're going find a way to bring a power tool into the equation.
Casual and relaxing baking with your wife? Let me just bring my freaking drill.
A Regular Robert Frost
Poetry and beauty are in the eye of the reader.
What you may think is "weird" or "not appropriate to hang our child's kindergarten painting under," may convey a beautiful message to someone else.
"My Husband Slid This Note Under The Bathroom Door. I Married Him For Good Reasons."
Is this cute? Someone tell, me because I can't tell.
This is the kind of thing your toddler says to you as they bang on the bathroom door. Actually... this makes sense.
Husband "Cleaned" And "Stocked" The Bathroom
Either we're married to the same person, we use the same cleaning service, or men everywhere are born with this innate ability to mess up the toilet paper.
My partner does this too, and it's infuriating.
He Wanted To Shower Without Wetting His Hair...So He Did This
Just because the chances of you suffocating, seriously injuring yourself, or looking like a complete serial killer are high, doesn't mean you shouldn't do something. Especially if that means risking your hair.
This Was His Solution Instead Of Buying A Shower Caddy
I want to have a serious word with this boyfriend.
I won't yell, I'll just calmly inform him about the existence of shower caddies that do exactly this without making it look like you live in a prison.
"I Might Have To Kill My Husband"
I would consider it too. What kind of a monster only eats the tops off of muffins and leaves the rest for people to nibble on?
Stop taking whatever psychology tests online that you've been doing, this is the newest empathy test.
She Wins, 15-Lo-w Fat Stir Fry
I can't tell if he was trying to be funny or he was genuinely trying to be helpful.
Either way, this only proves dudes are existing on a completely different plane than we are.
Proof Boyfriends Are Basically Pets
Monkey see, monkey do. Just because we've evolved a little bit, that doesn't mean that we don't still have animal instincts.
Like the primal urge to always annoy our girlfriends.
"My Husband Has Been Sticking These In Places I Can't Reach To Annoy Me. It's Working"
This is like the niche pet-owner version of the shelf debate that we have with our partners and roommates.
No matter how tall you are, you're always going to try to make your housemate's life worse if they're shorter than you.
Why Throw Away A Baby Announcement Dress Just Because It Doesn't Fit The Wife?
Reduce, reuse, recycle. This man and his wife totally get the green initiative, so obviously they're going to put that white pregnancy dress from Amazon to good use.
He looks incredible.
"My Wife Wanted Her Sandwich Cut In Half. She Was Nonspecific As To How"
Okay, yes, this man is absolutely right.
However, he's got to ask himself if being right is worth a very long and tense staring contest with his wife when she places the plate down in front of him? Maybe.
I'm Sure She Loved The New Shower Curtain He Bought Because She's "Smokin Hot"
This is a cute way to compliment somebody, but maybe next time, he should ask his wife how she feels about him redecorating.
Because you know that she's definitely got an opinion.
How Her Adult Boyfriend's Fridge Looks...Always
Do men actually live like this? I thought only college guys lived like this.
Can people really look at water, three eggs, a yogurt container, and some moldy olives and think that this counts as weekly sustenance?
This Guy Really Decided To Pick The Makeup Stain Fight, Huh?
I don't want to be the bearer of obvious news here, but white towels can be bleached and get the stains taken out that way.
That's a much easier alternative than this guy picking a literal fight with the love of his life.
He Packed Her Lunch And Almost Packed The Right Tuna...
This guy almost got it right. He got the species of fish, the flavor, and even the look right...the only issue is that he forgot his wife's diet isn't the same as the cat's.
I want to believe that this is an honest mistake, but I'm not sure.
Never Let Your Husband Decorate The Bathroom. Ever.
If you're going to hang a photo of Darth Vader in your washroom, then his name should now and forever be changed to "Dookie Vader."
I'm just stating the obvious.
How Can You Marry A Monster Like This?
If you love strawberry ice cream, then this is the person to marry.
But if you love vanilla, chocolate, and Neopolitan, then you need to check your vows to see if icecream sacrilege was in them.
They Had To Erect A Monument For The First And Last Time
Hey, even though this wife has been severely publicly shamed, billed by the golf course, and waterlogged, at least she got her golf cart driving privileges revoked with a bang.
I hope she didn't drive home after this.
"Apparently, My Husband Was Drunk Eating Last Night"
Your eyes aren't deceiving you—this is several stacks of American cheese on top of each other that this man has gone and taken a massive bite out of.
I'm really hoping he chased all this sodium with something, because this is wild.
If The Cat Doesn't Approve, Throw The Whole Boyfriend Away
Animals have a special sixth sense okay? They can smell auras or something.
If you ask your boyfriend to watch your cat and he turns around to find this completely unpleased cat... It's time to dump him.
How To Cat Sit 101
Step 1: Do none of what is pictured here.
Imagine you turn around for a second and the cat actually takes a sip and you come home to a drunk cat when all you asked was for your boyfriend to watch her.
You Can't Always Joke Your Way Out Of Trouble
But somehow this guy did! He got in trouble so he sent his girlfriend a couple of bags of flour to her office. Get it? Instead of flowers?
Let's just hope she didn't have to carry them home herself because that would just be a whole other argument.
This Is Why Romance Is Dead
All this poor grown woman wanted to do was leave her husband a cute "I love you" message only to come to "Is this glove yours" instead.
What does that even mean?!
Visual Instructions Make Life Easier
A woman's husband asked her three times how to cook the pork loin for dinner. She lost her patience and dumbed it down for him in this scribbled pictorial.
The real question is, did he do it right? Because it has often been proven that instructions aren't enough.
Pads Are Not Pasta
You'd think that would be pretty obvious right? Well, you thought wrong because clearly this man while putting away the groceries just assumed that since it comes in a blue box it must be another pasta box.
How do you like your pads? Al dente?
This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
Of course he'll take this super unflattering picture of her while she's cleaning her glasses and unprepared.
But when she actually begs him to take a nice picture when she's all dressed up he'll complain from night till morning.
Be Careful What You Ask For
"I asked my husband how long the kitchen table is. This is what I got."
I mean, he technically abided and the kid probably had fun doing it. All we're saying is be careful what you wish for because you'll probably get it, but not at all how you wanted it.
The Biggest Fashion Faux-Pas
If you're going to wear socks with your sandals, or worse, with your flip flops, please stay single. No one wants to see that. It's not a good look. Plus it doesn't even look like it would be comfortable so what's the point?
And no, these feet shaped glove socks are not the solution. They are way, way worse.
How To Get Started On Nightmares At A Young Age
One year older and one year closer to death...literally. This is why you don't put candles that close together.
That poor child looks traumatized and ready to stop aging right then and there but I mean fear builds character.
