I’m Groaning At These Dad Tweets That Basically Said ‘Hi Groaning, I’m Dad’
Dad jokes are very much a thing, and now that Twitter exists, dads are taking their jokes to the internet. Twitter is full of dads who like to spend their time sharing silly things their kids have said, weird things they saw online, funny things they observed in the wild, and basic dad humor.
Keep reading to see some of the funniest dads on the internet. Yeah, some of these jokes are groaners, but they're also really funny.
Nice Try
This kid noticed that her dad seemed to be engrossed in the newspaper every morning, so she used that knowledge to ask her father for a small favor. Puppies are way more fun than news.
The Way Toddler Clothes Work
Yeah, snaps and buttons are great for getting clothes off in a hurry when there's been a blowout, but when those kids start moving, it's a lot harder to get the buttons done up.
The Only Logical Answer
This kid should probably know which words are on her upcoming test, right? I mean, obviously, she has to spell words. What else could she possibly have to spell? Math equations?
Two Can Play At That Game
If this kid wants to play his Xbox games that his parents very kindly bought for him, then he has to learn how to help out around the house. It's only fair.
An Owl By Any Other Name
If you didn't know what an owl was called and you called it a wood penguin, I'd say that was close enough. How is this kid coming across penguins and not owls? Where does he live?
A Different Kid
To be fair, all six-year-old kids look pretty much the same. Most of the time they're running around so quickly that you can hardly get a good look at them.
What Even Are Landlines?
Apparently, kids these days have no idea what landlines actually look or sound like. Pretty soon, landlines are going to be a relic of the past and we'll all forget what they sound like.
Dads Are Not Babysitters
Whoever thinks it's okay to say that a dad is babysitting when he's looking after his own kids is seriously disturbed. Those are his kids. He isn't babysitting. He's parenting.
Daddy Pig
Kids may be a lot of things, but they certainly know how to tell it like it is. You can't say that they're not honest. Sometimes that honesty hurts, though.
Life Lessons
There are so many valuable lessons we can learn from our children. One of them is that we might want to reconsider the next time we think it's a good idea to make a tiny human.
The Next Stage Of Life
This is a huge moment in any parent's life. You get a little bit of your independence back, you can actually take a shower, and your life isn't full of so much worry.
Sky High
Toddlers have a unique way of talking about the world. It's all fun and cute until somebody ends up behind bars because a kid doesn't know how to use proper syntax.
Chocolate Milk, Stat
This dad had a tough day and he needed something more than a glass of milk to help him get by. A glass of chocolate milk should do the trick.
A Fragile Kid
This kid gets upset about a lot of things. I didn't know that a bath could be "too wet." In fact, I've never heard of a dry bath. Does this kid know something I don't?
Be Very, Very Sneaky
There's a feeling you have when you're grinding up spinach into a paste, mixing it with minced meat, and rolling it into balls (but being careful not to turn the meatballs entirely green). Assassins must also feel that feeling.
Kid Number Three
When you have your first kid, you pay attention to everything they do. You don't let them watch certain cartoons, and you make sure they only eat one cookie after they've eaten at least one bite of a fruit. None of that happens with the third kid.
Little White Lies
Sometimes, little white likes are necessary to help you get through the day. Yeah, your kids won't actually poop spiders if they eat candy after dark, but they don't have to know that.
A Dose Of Reality
Well, he's not entirely wrong. The only thing is that he could actually stop listening to his father as soon as he's financially independent and over the age of 18.
It's Not A Cult
Is Twitter secretly a cult? Have we been missing the signs all along? This dad is onto them, though, and he's not about to let his kid accidentally become a cultist, no matter how many "followers" his kid gets.
Have A Space Fact
This might be the most wholesome thing I've ever read. This kid is the definition of chaotic good. She just wants to watch the world learn. It's kind of adorable.
What Teachers Deserve
Now that a lot of parents are stuck homeschooling their own kids, they realize what a tough job being a teacher actually is. And most parents only have to teach two or three kids. Teachers have 30 to a class.
Spell It First
Well, it's time for a lesson on homophones. "Gays" and "gaze" sound like the same word, but they're spelled differently, so they have different meanings. For example, "penetrating gaze" means a look that could pierce right through you. "Penetrating gays" means...
A True Hero
Ryan Reynolds is back at it again with the dad jokes. This guy is actually funny on Twitter. He has actually had another kid since this tweet was posted. Let's hope he did a better job in the delivery room this time.
A Morbid Dad Joke
This person shared a random, morbid fact about people being buried in pecan trees with their family chat. Dad was quick to chime in with an inappropriate joke. Typical dad.
Morphing Into Adults
In kindergarten, those class photos are full of joy and laughter. Then all of a sudden your kid is in third grade and there is half the amount of joy in his eyes.
A Spooky Sight
Is there anything scarier than your own kid standing at the foot of your be at 5 a.m.? Maybe just when he opens his mouth and says, "Dad, I threw up in my bed."
A Long-Winded Story
Kids don't really understand the concept of a summary. They want to get all of the details in and then some. And they really want to focus on the details that don't really have any bearing on the story.
A Little Too Late
Maybe this dad should have told his kids to be careful before they fell over, although you and I both know that it wouldn't have changed the outcome. Kids just fall over sometimes.
