The Funniest Things Couples Were Caught Saying In Their Sleep
The mind really is a funny thing. It plays enough tricks on you while you're awake, but when you're sleeping, the subconscious mind jumbles together all your feelings, thoughts, and random objects you've ever seen and makes for some really interesting results.
Some are funny, others are slightly concerning—you be the judge.
May Have To Speak To The Manager
The poor guy sounds like he's under a lot of pressure at work and it's starting to get to him. All he wants is to provide good service. Even in his sleep, he's come to terms with the notion that the customer is always right.
This Might Be How You Die
This is not the kind of partner you'd want to watch a scary movie with on date night. You'll just convince yourself that the spirits have found their way out of the TV and straight unto her living body.
How To Destroy Their Self-Esteem
The fact that he went through the effort of poking her shoulder to wake her up, only to let her know how lame she is, makes me wonder if he really was sleeping at all. Maybe this was the only way he could tell her how he really felt.
No Need For Parachutes
You really have to wonder what kind of scenario requires you to need to go up and down the sky multiple times for you to think you might need more than one parachute. Either way, it doesn't matter, because he didn't have to bother all those parachutes anyway.
Run For Your Life Before It's Too Late
There are so many questions to be asked here. For one, what did he win the cricket trophy for? What does that have to do with crumpets? How can innocent crumpets cause you to be prosecuted?
Rest In Peace To The Vegetables
Perhaps he was simply trying to express his state of being. They say that when we sleep, our subconscious mind surfaces our feelings, thoughts, and images that we've encountered when awake. In this case, this man must have felt like a "dead vegetable."
A Buffet Sounds Like A Good Idea
I don't understand the problem here. Who doesn't like a good buffet? This is just an incentive to go to one. Although maybe shouting it wasn't the best delivery, he could've shouted much worse things.
You Can't Trust Those Sneaky Goblins
The real lesson here is that goblins just can't be trusted. They'll get you to scrub them clean in the bath because of how cute they are, then make you forget it so it'll be like it never happened when you wake up.
Her Knight In Shining Armor
This guy is such a good partner that he's willing to save his other half even when he's sleeping. It doesn't matter what the threat is—being chased by vampires, or a dire need for red and green pens—he's there to help at any hour.
A Little Arm Stretching
Think of how stiff you feel when you wake up in the morning from lying in the same position for hours. This partner is helping keep the blood flowing by exercising the joints in a circular motion. She just happened to grab the wrong limb, that's all.
You Can't Keep The Bread Waiting
How rude to be sleeping when there's a whole array of bread, from whole wheat to baguettes, waiting for you for a clearly very important meeting. There are many ways of making a sandwich waiting to be discussed.
No More Bread!
You really have to wonder what it is about bread that's causing so many nightmares for these people. Unless this was just his way of letting his partner know he was tired of how much bread they've been eating...
A Visit From A Very Special Guest
Can you imagine being so lucky as to receive a personal visit from Thomas the Tank Engine himself in the middle of the night? What an honor that would be.
He Shoots, But Does He Score?
It seems like the wrong person was upset here. One of them got kicked painfully by an alive person, while the other one didn't see the result of an imaginary goal. Who suffered more?
Defending His Wife's Honor
What you have to keep in mind here is that it's the thought that counts. The intention was clearly noble: the man just wanted to stand up for his wife. How could he have known that it was all a dream?
A False Alarm
That's one way to get someone's attention. You can't just wake someone else, make them feel like their whole life flash before their eyes, and then go back to sleep like nothing ever happened.
Coming Soon To A Theater Near You
Do you ever watch some movies and think "wow, this feels like a dream?" I'm starting to think that the reason was that the movie was actually dreamt up and then turned into a motion picture.
Witnessing A Possible Possession
This sounds like the start of the plot to every horror movie on Netflix right now. If I were her, I'd call the exorcist before objects randomly start flying off the wall and killing her, unlike in the movies where the characters wait until it's too late.
This Is What Dreams Are For
If you can't play football in real life, what better opportunity do you have to live out your dreams than literally in your dreams? Just let the man have his one minute of fame.
Built-Up Aggression
Clearly, the wife had some unaddressed or unresolved issues that even her sleeping body couldn't handle anymore. She is way past just being passive-aggressive behavior. It's time for marriage counseling.
Making Empty Promises
I would be a little concerned if my significant other was a giant beetle. Especially a square-shaped one. At least the other sleep talkers had consistency in their actions, this one's just all over the place.
A Spoonful Of Peanut Butter
Maybe they had heard somewhere that a spoonful of peanut butter a day has some sort of benefit the beauty industry is holding out on us, and they're using their wife as the test subject...
Work Is Life And Life Is Work
This is the reality of the world we live in. We spend more time working than doing anything else, so naturally, that's what occupies the biggest portion of our minds. The stress of it also comes out in our sleep.
The Nightime Random Herald
This would have been an interesting one to record. I am very curious to hear what a human trombone even sounds like. I can't imagine it's anywhere near as good as Sly Stallone.
The Newborn Who Slides Down Curtains
This newborn would be quite advanced for their age if they could already climb curtains and slide down them. It would be a reason to celebrate, not to be concerned.
However, many would try to take advantage of such a talented baby, so I understand the concern over his kidnapping.
The Origin Of Monkeys
If you've gone this long without knowing how monkeys are made, thankfully the answer came to this man in his sleep. Obviously, monkeys are made out of churros and anything else you've heard has been a lie.
Keep 911 On Speed Dial
This would have become slightly problematic if she had actually listened to his cries and called 911. First off, ambulance fees aren't cheap. Second, they would have just arrived to find a giggling man.
Hide Yo' Kids, Hide Yo' Wife
This is why they warn against playing video games for too long. The overstimulation of the brain can clearly cause the player to lose perception of what constitutes reality and what is part of the game world.
Formal Offer Awaiting
They never clarified what this formal offer even entails. It can't be marriage, as they've already done that. And if that offer went through, we can't imagine what else he's looking for.
It's A Never-Ending Game
This seems quite metaphorical. After all, life's basically one giant game and we're the pawns, so we try to partner up in an attempt to build a stronger team and win it the best way we can.
