Celebrity Dad Tweets That Sum Up The Hilarious Nature Of Fatherhood
Fatherhood is awesome. The moment your little bundle of joy is born you get to look them in their loving eyes for about 3.5 seconds before mom snatches them away and started breastfeeding or cuddling. For the next few months, you basically serve as a rocking chair for your child as you hold them in your arms and attempt to make the screaming stop while your wife takes a much needed 10-minute break so she can shower and maybe remember to eat something.
Yes, fatherhood comes with many rewards as you help your child navigate the world but along the way, you'll also be at your wit's end as you attempt to figure out if your child adores you or wants to throw another wooden block at your head while you nap on the couch.
These celebrity dads have mastered the fine art of fatherhood. Except not really.
Danny Zuker Now Understands That Pretty Much Everything Is A Lie
As you enter fatherhood be prepared for your child to have sudden outbursts that seem to lack all rationality. Modern Family executive producer Danny Zuker was forced to question his "World's Best Dad" coffee mug after he daughter blurted out, "YOU ARE THE WORST DAD IN THE WORLD!" It's moments like these that us dads remember exactly how important we are in the father-child dynamic. What could bring on such a determined answer from a child? Anything from failing to turn on Curious George on the TV to forgetting to put their favorite stuffed animal to bed with them. Parenting is sometimes just plain awkward.
Adam Scott Is Worried About His Daughter's Santa Obsession
As a father, you're partially tasked with showing your children the wonders of the world. From playtime to storytime and everything in between, your child's imagination needs to run wild because it helps them absorb the world around them. Adam Scott started questioning the fantasies he has delivered to his children in this tweet about Santa's private parts. His "one-day" comment gives us hope that he won't be the person who finally tells his little daughter that Santa is more of a feeling than an actual living and breathing magical person. The struggle is real for us fathers.
Andy Richter Will Never Go Thirsty
As a dad, I can say with 100% certainty that drinking a half-drunk and often warm beverage is still better than those times when your child accidentally drools in your mouth. Who am I kidding, I've had my children intentionally droll in my mouth. It's also better than when your child decides they are done with the food they are eating and they remove it from their mouth and shove it in yours. Also, how many pills is Andy Richter taking that he needs to walk around the house in search of a half-filled beverage?
The Moment Jim Gaffigan Finally Become Horrified By Poop
I can confidently speak for all dads when I saw children are disgusting little creatures. Don't get me wrong, I love my kids but they can do some weird stuff that will make you question your sanity and the world you live in. Jim Gaffigan came face-to-face with one of these moments when his kid asks if "eating poop" could kill you. When Gaffigan asked why, his son simply replied, "No reason." If you're a dad or expecting your first child you should be prepared because children often love to skip over mommy and ask their father these fun-filled and horrifying questions.
The Very Second Taye Diggs Realized 'Daddy Brain' Is Real
Children are smarter than we often give them credit for in their early years. Their little brains are working in overtime to learn a massive amount of information. What might be most amazing is how they can latch onto something they love and learn everything about that subject. Meanwhile, all of us dads are sitting around trying to remember where we left the car keys, TV remote, our sanity. It's called "daddy brain" and it's a weird phenomenon in which we start to lose our minds while simultaneously raising children.
We Feel Your Flatulence-Based Pain Rob Delaney
I feel your pain Rob Delaney. Dads are tasked with helping raise their children to understand the difference between right and wrong with a little bit of etiquette thrown in for good measure. It's amazing that we can parent at all given our own propensity for acting like overgrown children 99.9% of the time. When a newborn arrives we intentionally burb and gas them and it can be hard to determine exactly when to stop celebrating those little toots they deliver with adorable conviction.
When Conan O'Brien Turned The Sex Talk Into A Weird Commentary On Death
Awkard sex talks are a given when you are raising children. Your kids want to know where they came from and how they were made. As a dad I took a very direct approach with my daughter because I wanted to avoid future awkward "where do babies come from" moments. Conan O'Brien decided to take a different approach, distracting his young son with this awkward comment: "some day we're all going to die." I guess it was a brutally honest response even if it failed to answer the question in any way.
That Time Ryan Reynolds Realized He Would Get The Last Laugh One Day
Sorry ladies but Ryan Reynolds is going to die one day and that's a fact, one he was willing to share with his daughter via a Tweet he sent out in April 2016. It's a funny comment from the funniest celebrity dad on Twitter but also a brutally honest assessment of a likely outcome. If you want to become a celebrate dad on social media sometimes speaking the awkward truth is the best route to take. This tweet should probably be placed on his tombstone when Reynolds eventually dies.
Dax Shepard Could Probably Scale Mount Everest
This travel tip from Dax Shepard is especially true while traveling on an airplane. It's even truer if you're on an international flight with kids who don't particularly like to sit still for more than five seconds at a time. On a positive note, if you do travel with children, you'll likely feel like accomplishing anything else in life just became a little bit easier. If I ever decide to climb Mount Everest I'm going to print out this tweet from Shepard and carry it in my pocket as a constant reminder that parenting is hard and pretty much everything else in life is easy.
Jimmy Kimmel Shares Every Dad's Thought Process
I'm right there with you Jimmy Kimmel. My daughter's and my son have been meeting in secret for years to determine my fate. I'm almost positive they are planning a coup to take over my home and rule it with Kim Jong Un style authority. From the moment our children are born they seem to always be fighting for the upperhand. A study recently found that a babies brain functions much like a sociopath, constantly attempting to figure out how to manipulate their parents to get what they need to survive.
Michael Ian Black And The Case For Karmic Punishment
First, we need to know what that atrocity was. Second, Micahel Ian Black hits the nail right on the head. Kids are awesome, we want to support them and help them grow but a 3-hour concert with what appears to be no direction? No thank you! I mean sure, I go to all of the events my children participate in but that doesn't mean I find it riviting. As a dad, you have to learn that sometimes it's not about you and then suck it up for a few miserable hours.
Ryan Reynolds Explains The Lost Freedoms Of Fatherhood
This tweet from Ryan Reynolds leaves us with more questions than answers. First, why is Reynolds going on walks at 6 am that's just way too early to exist. Also, why is all of his freedom gone? Yes, being a dad requires more of your time to be eaten up with that whole raising a child thing but it's not exactly a 100% time suck if you're doing it right. On a positive note, we can visit with Ryan Reynold's freedom when we die and go to heaven one day.
Adam Scott And Credit Where Credit Is Due
One of the unexpected things about becoming a parent who celebrates Christmas is the realization that your children are thanking a made up fat man in a suit for delivering them with all of the presents they asked to receive. Adam Scott wants to ruin the illusion for his children, not because it's all a big lie but rather so he can get some credit where credit is due. We really hope Scott didn't crush his child's imagination but we totally understand his thought process here.
Jim Gaffigan Will Always Play Along With His Child's Wild Imagination
In my family, I recall a fifth sibling named "It wasn't me." Every time my mom would ask who broke or stole something we would all shout "it wasn't me." After a while, she started asking if "it wasn't me" broke the lamp or smash the cereal box. Jim Gaffigan has determined that an evil candy burglar breaks into his home to steal his kid's Halloween candy. Kids are not the best at covering up their naughty behavior and it can make for some hilariously awkward and memorable moments.
Taye Diggs And The Brutal Honestly Of Children
Taye Diggs sent out this tweet as a reminder that our little bundles of joy often lack a filter on what they say out loud. Taye was just trying to tuck in his son when it was pointed out to him that he has "ashy" skin. The fact that his little boy removed a pacifier to poke fun at his dad is more proof that being a father can sometimes be a thankless job. Never mind the fact that his child scratched him just to see what the result would be - it's all just part of parenting.
Rob Delaney Explains How To Avoid Yelling At Your Kids
"You don't have a clue what horroris this world holds." We're pretty sure Rob Delaney is going to have bigger issues to deal with than "monsters under the bed" when his children start to question the world around them. The best celebrity dads on Twitter understand that the "shock and awe" factor of their tweets is what separates them from other celebrity dads. Although, in the current political climate Delaney might actually be providing a valid warning to his child.
Lin-Manuel Miranda Lays Down Some Painful Parenting Truth
Lin-Manuel Miranda has become a household name thanks to his Tony-winning musical Hamilton but that doesn't mean anything when he's holding his 12-week-old child. Miranda explains that a 12-week-old is "young enough to fall asleep on your chest yet long enough to kick you in the nuts at the same time." It gets better from there dads, soon your kids are throwing random toys at your head for no reason while insisting that the vicious attack was not wrong.
Ryan Reynolds Explains The Conflicting Feelings Of Fatherhood
Ryan Reynolds made our list a bunch of times because he's the funniest celebrity dad on Twitter. In this tweet, he explains that his daughter saying the word "quiche" makes her "smart, hungry and an a**hole." Reynolds, of course, doesn't take into account that children have not yet made the association between how we talk and ask and what that means in terms of how society views us. At the end of the day, children are developing their own personalities and Reynolds was just trying to guide his daughter away from becoming a kale smoothy sipping, vegan eating, yogi practicing hipster.
When Joel McHale Realized His Kid Is Incredibly Optimistic
Kids don't view the world in the same way adults views our time on this planet. They can watch a movie or hear a song and they come up with their own twist on the reality that was just presented to them. Take for example Joel McHale's kid. The Lego Movie song says, "Everything is awesome when you're part of a team." McHale's kiddo changed the lyrics to "Everything is awesome when you're not dying." In all fairness to his kid, that is the most optimistic approach to a song rewrite we've ever heard.
Seth Myers Is An Emotional Wreck
As a new dad, I personally started to feel more emotional about the world around me and Seth Myers echoes my feelings. In a tweet sent in June 2016, Meyers said the biggest change since becoming a dad was that "I've cried hard TWICE at America's Got Talent this season. To be fair, America's Got Talent does manage to find some amazing acts with backstories that show how they've overcome a lot in life while still striving to reach their dreams. If you aren't feeling emotion after bringing a child into this world, you aren't parenting right.
