These Parents Got Schooled By Their 7-Year-Olds
Being a parent is a crazy, wild, difficult, amazing ride. It's full of tough moments and good times. Watching your kids grow up is both magical and heartbreaking. When these parents' kids turned 7, they realized how big they had really gotten. These kids are now able to tell jokes with the best of them, roast their parents, and observe the world in their own unique way.
Keep reading to hear about some 7-year-olds who crack us all up.
Already Tired
This kid is 7 years old and he's already tired of the whole world. We hear you kid, but we've got some bad news: if you're tired now, you're not going to get any less tired as you get older.
Working Hard Or Hardly Working?
You know, this 7-year-old has a point. There will come a time when he will work harder than his father. He didn't have to be so savage about it, though.
Not Too Pizzary
What does the word "pizzary" even mean? Can you have a pizza that tastes too much like pizza? Are there varying degrees of pizza taste? This kid is making us think.
Do No Lick The Dog
You really shouldn't copy everything your dog does. Dogs lick their own butts. They lick each other's butts. Sometimes they eat their own poop. They aren't great role models for 7-year-olds.
A Conscious Uncoupling
Remember when Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin from Coldplay broke up, but they called it a "conscious uncoupling"? Well, that's basically what this precocious 7-year-old and his girlfriend decided to do.
Sleep Is For The Weak
This 7-year-old really understands life. If you're tired during the day, you don't go to bed earlier. You just sleep in really late the next day and mess up your whole sleep schedule. It's the adult way.
Splish Splash
This kid isn't familiar with that "splish splash I was taking a bath" song. His song goes more like, "pew rawr eeee I was taking a bath." That song seems way more interesting.
Almost Ready
If being ready for school means wearing underwear on your butt and pants on your head and socks as gloves, then this kid is as ready as he'll ever be.
Another Worry
The world is full of worrying things at the moment. This mother doesn't need another thing to worry about (like her 7-year-old daughter jumping off of tall furniture to see if she can fly).
A Low Blow
Coffee might give you energy, but it isn't magic. If you have a 7-year-old to look after, that's going to use up a lot of your energy. Not even coffee can help you with that.
Sleeping In
Why do 7-year-olds think that sleeping in on a weekend means sleeping in until 7:00 a.m.? That's not sleeping in. Just wait until she's a teenager. Then she'll know what sleeping in really means.
Hardcore Parkour!
This 7-year-old must be taking notes from Dwight Schrute and Michael Scott! Getting your jeans caught on a door handle just makes parkour even more hardcore. This kid's got style.
How Food Works
When you're an adult, you kind of forget how magical the world is. When you're learning things for the first time, everything is magical. Isn't digestion crazy? Food turns into poop!
The Real Magic Words
Some kids out there think that the magic words are "please" and "thank you." According to this mom, that's not true. The magic words are, "I can get it myself."
Wise Words
Sometimes, the wisest words come from the littlest people. This mom probably knows that she made a bad decision in college. Now she knows that her daughter knows it too.
Back To Basics
Camping can be a great activity, but it's also kind of like going back in time, and going back in time isn't always fun. They didn't have indoor plumbing in the olden days, and indoor plumbing is great.
Poor Cedric
Spoiler alert: In the fourth Harry Potter book, Lord Voldemort ends up killing Cedric Diggory. It's a sad moment, although this kid didn't think so. I guess we know which one is the evil twin.
She's A Natural
This kid is just really good at riding a bike. Maybe she has a fantastic sense of balance. One thing's for sure—she didn't get her bike-riding talent from her mom.
Mistakes Are Inevitable
This kid is pretty insightful. She understands that everyone makes mistakes and that it's possible for everyone to recover from those mistakes. Also, she knows how pencils work. That's important too.
Bears Are Dangerous, Though
It's pretty cute that this kid wants to be friends with bears. Bears are pretty cute. They might even get along. The thing is, bears can eat you. It's best to give them a wide berth.
A Misplaced Carrot
This kid tried to make an upside-down snowman. It sort of worked. It's still a snowman. Now, it's just a rather inappropriate snowman. The 7-year-old doesn't know that, though, and let's keep it that way.
A Chinchilada
A chinchilada is a mix between a chinchilla and an enchilada. It's both adorable and delicious. You can find it at most Mexican pet stores. You know, the stores that sell imaginary Mexican pets.
A Sick Burn
Today, this mom learned that her kid doesn't think she's very funny. She also learned that all of Twitter thinks her kid is funny. This kid knows how to roast.
A Harsh Truth
Sorry to break it to you, kid, but Aunt Flow doesn't stop flowing just because it's Sunday. She doesn't stop on Christmas, either. Aunt Flow doesn't care about your schedule.
Stop Being Wrong
"Stop being wrong" is the perfect thing to say during an argument. This kid is probably going to be a lawyer when she grows up. Those are some top-notch argument skills.
People Born In April Can Relate
To everyone who is dating a girl born in April right now, the universe apologizes for giving her the most expensive birthstone. Sadly, diamonds cost more than $27. We like how this kid thinks, though.
Hands-Free Brushing
This is what those suction cups on the bottoms of toothbrushes are for, right? Why else would they exist if not for hands-free brushing? This lazy but genius kid knows what's up.
The Perfect Wedding
Why hasn't anybody done this yet? A pajama party wedding theme is the best wedding theme ever. Nobody has to spend thousands of dollars on a dress, and everybody gets to be comfortable.
Life's Not Fair
This 7-year-old just realized that life isn't fair, and she isn't taking it very well. It's better that she learn this lesson now, though. It sucks to be an adult when you realize that life isn't fair.
Out Of The Mouths Of Babes
This girl knows that swearing isn't a big deal, and she said this very insightful thing, so maybe her mom should just let her swear? She's obviously mature enough to handle it.
You Could've Kept That To Yourself
Not exactly the sweet moment that you were hoping to have with your child when she asked to share her innermost thoughts with you, but at least she had the guts to tell you!
Wedding Bells Aren't In Your Future Apparently
Sorry Zoe, but I don't think anyone was asking for your opinion, and it's comments like this one that are going to keep your sitting at the kid's table until you're 25.
Don't Quit Your Day Job
If there's one thing you can say for sure about children, it's that they're honest. They're always going to tell you how they're feeling. If you ever need a reality check, spend some time with a few children.
That's Not Really How That Works
It would be a little concerning to hear your 7-year-old claim that he's feeling hungover, but you can let him think that's what it means for as long as he wants.
If Only It Were That Simple
A lot of arguments in your life could be avoided if it were as simple as telling another person to stop being wrong. If only an actual argument worked that way.
Is That Not What They Do?
It makes sense that golden retrievers are such a popular breed if this is the kind of skill they're hiding, on top of already being so cute. They practically pay for themselves!
You Can't Throw Any Of Them Out
Don't make the mistake of telling your children that you loved something they made for you unless you're prepared to receive that gift for every occasion for the next two to three years.
Asking The Big Questions
They always hit you with the big questions right before bedtime, when all you want is for them to silently drift off to sleep so you can go fall asleep on the couch.
Seems Right To Me
Honestly we don't know why birds fly in a V formation, but this kid's answer seems like a much better option than anything we would have come up with in the meantime.
This Kid Makes A Good Point
Just wait until that little girl grows up to discover that just because you become an adult does not mean you no longer care about getting your mother's approval on your life decisions.
