Parents Are Sharing Advice They Received That They Knew They Shouldn’t Take
There's an abundance of parenting advice available to parents, from books to blogs to podcasts, and it can be overwhelming for new parents. There are so many different ways to do things and you want to make sure you raise your children properly (whatever that means) so it would make sense to take advice from other parents, right?
Sometimes that's right, but sometimes you're going to get advice from other parents that make no sense or you know isn't right. 30 parents decided to share the advice they'd been given that they knew wasn't right so others can learn too...
Put Your Career First While Your Kids Are Babies
Yes, this is real advice someone was given by a very misguided boss. One new father was told by their boss that they should focus on their career while their child is too young to remember if their dad is present at home or not.
Never Smile At Your Baby
This one didn't even have a real reason behind it and wasn't given with any sort of logic. Someone's grandmother simply told them they should never smile at their baby, and unsurprisingly, they didn't take her advice.
Don't Praise Your Kids So Much
Children need positive reinforcement when they're young for behaviors like sharing with other children to help them identify they've done something good. It helps them build their self-confidence and develop good self-esteem for their later years. Don't feel bad about praising your child.
Leave Them Alone To Figure It Out
Developing effective problem-solving skills is important for children, but sometimes they're going to be faced with problems they don't know how to solve and they're going to need your help. If they're left alone to completely fend for themselves they might get discouraged and give up all together.
Always Sleep When The Baby Sleeps
This seems like great advice for parents who are preparing for the birth of their first child, but if you ask anyone who has children you'll quickly realize this advice isn't practical. Sometimes it's going to work, but most of the time if your baby is asleep you're going to have other things you need to accomplish.
If You Help Them With Their Homework They'll Never Learn
It's true that your child isn't going to learn anything if you do their entire science project for them, but there's a middle ground between not helping at all and doing it for them. Be there when they're doing their homework in case they need help with a problem or two, but don't do the whole worksheet for them.
Kids Need Strict Rules And Structure 24/7
Kids need structure in their lives, but if every moment of every day is structured you're going to face some push back. Rules are there to help your child, but they also need opportunities for down time and for their creativity to come through.
Don't Punish Your Child
If you plan on never parenting your child for the entirety of their life, you might want to adjust your strategy. Teaching your kids that actions have consequences is important, just make sure that the punishment fits the crime.
You Don't Need To Read With Your Kids, They'll Learn At School
We're going to assume most parents know that this is not, in fact, true and you know that you should absolutely take the time to read with your children at home, but someone gave this advice so it needs to be said.
Make Your Child Hug People, Even If They Don't Want To
You want to teach your children to be polite and greet people at family events or gatherings with friends, but you also want your children to learn that they have personal boundaries which is why experts recommend you don't force your children to hug people if they don't want to.
Family Always Comes First
Of course your family comes first, but this particular piece of advice was given to a parent who was struggling personally. As important as our family is, your own mental and physical health is equally as important, so sometimes you have to put yourself first as a parent.
Buy A Used Car Seat To Save Money
There are very few parents in this world who would say they're not interested in saving money whenever they can, but one thing you should spend your money on is a good car seat. When buying a car seat from a garage sale or a second-hand store, you don't know the history of the car seat, like if it was involved in an accident.
She'll Grow Out Of It
There are some behaviors that your kid will grow out of, but when it comes to negative behaviors like hitting other children, your child isn't going to simply grow out of it. You have to address the behavior when it first starts or it'll get worse.
Boys Will Be Boys
At this point, most parents know that "boys will be boys" isn't a great way to excuse your son's behavior, but there are some people who still give that advice to other parents. Instead of writing off bad behavior, address it with your child!
Screen Time Is Fine As Long As It's Educational
It's hard in today's world to never let your children have screen time, but some parents have a tendency to rely on screens more than they should, as long as the apps the children are using are educational. It's great they're using educational tools, but when your children are young it's always better to have them use physical objects rather than interacting with a screen.
Your Kid Should Be Allowed To Decide Who They Live With
Navigating a divorce is difficult and once kids are involved it becomes a lot more complicated. While some parents might be inclined to let their children decide which parent they live with so they feel like they have a choice, experts recommend otherwise. It's a lot of pressure to put on a child and it can lead to more complicated issues later in life.
Avoid Conflict At All Costs
You can't avoid conflict 100% of the time as a parent, just like you can't protect your child from failure. You're not always going to be your child's best friend and sometimes you're going to have to fight.
Breastfeeding Is Always The Best Choice
There's a stigma for mothers around breastfeeding versus using formula, but the only thing that matters is that you're feeding your baby. Sometimes breastfeeding isn't going to work for you and your baby for a variety of reasons, and that's okay. You're the only one that gets to make this choice (and maybe your doctor.)
If Your Kid Bites You, Bite Them Back
A shocking number of people have received this advice from others in their life, so to clear it up: please don't bite your children. Instead, explain to them using words that you don't like to be bitten.
Let Children Have Full Choice Over What Activities They Do
It's important to let your kids have choices and have them participate in activities that they like doing, but they won't know what they like unless you start signing them up for things! Put them in soccer, ballet, piano lessons, whatever you want; just be open to them changing those activities when they're a little older.
Your Child Doesn't Need A Car Seat If You're Going A Short Distance
While this might seem obvious to you, it seems that it's not to everyone because this was real advice given to someone. Even if you're just driving down the street, you should always strap your child into their carseat properly. No one plans to have a car accident, so prepare for the worst.
They Should Know Better, Don't Let Them Get Away With That
If your child does something wrong, especially when they're really young, you can't get mad at them because you feel they should know better. Instead of assuming they should know better, teach them the lesson for next time.
Children Should Do As They're Told And Never Ask Questions
The way that children learn from the world around them is by asking questions. They're inquisitive, they want to learn from you, and you can't expect your children to never ask questions.
Don't Hold Your Baby Too Much
First of all, what counts as holding your baby "too much"? Also, why would you ever tell another parent that they shouldn't hold their baby? If you want to hold your baby, you go right ahead.
Never Fight In Front Of Your Kids
It's good if parents do their best not to fight in front of their children, but it's not always going to be realistic. More important than not fighting in front of your children is that if you do, you need to make a point of making up in front of the children too. That's how they'll learn about conflict resolution.
Ignore Your Kid If They're Crying, It's Just For Attention
Sometimes your kid is going to cry for attention, but other times it's going to be because they're trying to communicate with you and they don't know how to use their words. You can't expect that your toddler is going to be able to verbally communicate their feelings all the time.
You're The Parent So You're Always Right
This parenting philosophy is going to lead to a lot of disagreements as your kids get older, and it's not going to be effective for you as a parent. Parents should be open to learning from their kids and should be able to acknowledge that they don't always know everything.
Babies Shouldn't Leave The House During The First Two Months
New parents are often given the advice that parents should only take their babies out of their house for doctors appointments during the first two months, but this can be very isolating for new parents. It's okay to take your new baby outside for some fresh air (and it's good for you), but it's still good to avoid crowded spaces where your baby could be exposed to a lot of new germs.
Shield Them From Failure At All Costs
The main reason this isn't great advice is that it's not practical. You're not always going to be able to shield your children from failure, but also you shouldn't want to. Failure is a part of life, and it's best for children to learn how to come back from a loss at a young age.
Only Pick Up Your Baby If They've Been Crying For Longer Than 25 Minutes
Letting your child cry for a few minutes after you put them down to sleep is difficult enough for parents, but only picking them up if they've been crying for 25 minutes regardless of the situation is not a parenting tip you should follow.
