Mom Tells Off Friend For Judging Her Parenting Style Since She’s Not A Mother Yet
Judgment is something that every parent is subjected to at some point. Everyone has an opinion on the "right" way to raise a child, and someone is almost always ready to share their thoughts on how you're doing something wrong.
One mother had to deal with judgment on her parenting skills—except the woman doing the judging wasn't even a parent.
"We're A Bit Of An Odd Match"
Reddit user u/Spirited-Bug3315 turned to the AITA community after a recent awkward moment with her friend.
In her post, she writes that she and her friend are "a bit of an odd match."
They Bonded Over Impending Motherhood
u/Spirited-Bug-3315 is a mother of two, whereas her friend is currently expecting.
They don't have a lot in common, she says, but they bonded over pregnancy and motherhood. Her friend "likes to ask for advice on things as she prepares to give birth and be a new mom."
The Closer Her Due Date, The More Judgmental She Gets
As the expectant friend's due date grows closer, "the more judgmental she gets of my parenting."
The judgment started off with something that might seem harmless to the outside observer: cloth diapers.
Been There, Done That
Her friend decided she was going to use cloth diapers for her baby, and tried to convince u/Spirited-Bug3315 to do the same.
She explained that she'd tried that with her first and that it wasn't right for her.
Then We Moved On To Safety Concerns
"She asks for product reviews on fancy baby gadgets like the backseat camera" and other products.
When the Reddit user told her friend that she'd never used those products, her friend said that "she's going to use it because she wants to keep her baby as safe as possible."
The Experienced Mom Tried To Hold Back
She writes that she was trying really hard not to be the experienced mom who claims "just you wait..." because that can be discouraging to new moms, but she's close to it.
"I figured nature will take its course and she'll eventually see that you can't take mommy Instagram influencers as gospel."
Dealing With An Infection
The Reddit user said she was dealing with mastitis recently. Mastitis is a condition that as many as one in 10 women who are breastfeeding can face, and it's not pleasant.
It's from a backup of milk in the milk duct, and like any other infection, symptoms can include fever or body aches, among other things.
The Final Straw
While the mom-of-two was dealing with mastitis, she had to stay home from work. "I would have gone in but they're doing temperature screenings at the door and I have a fever," so she would have been sent home anyway.
Her friend (who has never breastfed before or dealt with any of the complications that come with it) basically told her to suck it up.
"It's Not Worth Staying Home Over"
u/Spirited-Bug3315's friend told her "I didn't have to stay home from work over a sore boob, that I just needed to buy a Haakaa and use that, but it wasn't worth staying home over."
(In case you were wondering—a Haakaa is a specialized breast pump that many women rave about, which can help prevent mastitis.)
And That's When She Snapped
The Reddit mom admits that it hit a nerve for her "because I already feel bad about using my paid sick leave for myself since I like to save it up in case my kids get sick."
In a moment of anger, the woman told her friend, "Wait until [you've] actually experienced something before [you] try to talk about it because right now [you] just don't know what [you're] talking about."
Now The Friend's Husband Is Involved
u/Sprited-Bug3315 received a text from her friend's husband, asking why she'd say something like that "when she's due in two weeks and already nervous."
The friend had apparently been crying for over an hour and now the Reddit writer is feeling guilty. Who's in the wrong here? Or maybe neither of them are?
The Judgment Is In: Not Guilty
The general consensus was that momma was not in the wrong here. The commenters agreed that they too would have been frustrated if their friend had been judging their parenting decisions—especially if they didn't have kids of their own.
The user also added an edit to the post noting that both she and the friend had apologized.
