Mom And Parenting Coach Explains Why She Allows Her Daughter To Swear
Growing up, every household had rules for how parents and their children would handle swearing. While most parents disapprove of using bad language, not all people feel this way.
One mom on TikTok has gone viral for her attitude toward her daughter openly swearing and her reason why is eye-opening.
Kids And Swearing
Some parents have a swear jar set up at home, or maybe they only allow their kids to say more tame curse words like "hell" or damn." Other parents forbid swearing altogether.
Every family is different, so it can take a while to find a system that works.
The TikTok
This is TiKToKmom, also known as @psyko_therapy on TikTok. She is a mother, a psychotherapist, and a parenting coach, and her unique view on how to address the topic of children and swearing has gone viral.
She asks her viewers, "Do you allow cuss words?"
A Mother-Daughter Sketch
The TikTok begins with a sketch between @psyko_therapy and her young daughter. In the skit, the girl is carrying a basket of laundry but accidentally drops a piece of clothing onto the floor and exclaims, "S***! I forgot something!"
In the skit, @psyko_therapy then pretends to be an angry mother who disapproves of her child's flippant use of cursing.
An "Unhelpful Parent Response"
@psyko_therapy then gives an example of what she calls an "Unhelpful Parent Response."
In the next part of the sketch, she looks at her daughter and says, "What did you just say? You are far too young to be using cuss words—you know better than that. Come on...There's no cussing in this house unless I'm doing it."
A "Helpful Parent Response"
In the next part of the sketch, @psyko_therapy shows parents an example of what she calls a "Helpful Parent Response."
Instead of reprimanding her daughter, she asks, "You okay? Do you need any help? Thank you for remembering to only use swear words when it's just you and I home."
The Swearing Rules
She explains that she has a "potty mouth" and doesn't want to stop swearing. With this in mind, @psyko_therapy created a system that she believes is beneficial to her family.
The rule is that her daughter is allowed to swear only when it's just them at home. "She gets to graze in the pasture, but we have a nice fence around it, in which she needs to stay."
Every Family Is Different
@psyko_therapy adds that there are caveats to this rule. For example, no swearing is allowed when they have guests over, curse words are not allowed to be used to disrespect people, nor can she use swear words to insult others.
"But, you gotta do what works for you and your family," she says.
The Follow-Up TikTok
In a follow-up video, @psyko_therapy offers an additional point of view for parents regarding swearing. It begins with a skit where she "grounds" her daughter for swearing, but uses curse words herself during the reprimanding.
"I mean, if you're not going to allow your kid to swear and you're going to reprimand them in an ugly way and ground them for swearing, maybe you shouldn't swear either."
Role Models
She explains that children look up to their parents as role models, and parents consciously or unconsciously teach their kids what behaviors and words are appropriate and which aren't.
@psyko_therapy then admits that kids will often veer off this path from time to time and make mistakes, but it's a parent's job to "reel them in."
A Final Lesson On Swearing
Finally, she asks viewers to consider something. She says that if parents don't want their children to swear, but then swear at them while in the same breath punishing them for swearing, then parents need to adjust their approach.
"How is that teaching?" @psyko_therapy asks.
