Foster Mom Shares Welcome Routine For Emergency Placement Children And People Are Emotional
When children are victims of broken homes or abusive and/or absent parents, the state has the ability to intervene and remove the child (or children) from their parents' care. The kids are then peddled through the foster care system that often separates them from siblings and places them in multiple different foster homes over the course of years.
While the experience can be traumatic and isolating, some foster parents have gone above and beyond to ensure that the children coming into their homes have the most comfortable experience possible, during a seriously uncomfortable transition.
What Exactly Is Foster Care And How Does It Work?
Foster care, also sometimes known as "out-of-home care," refers to the temporary service that is provided by state governments when a child cannot be cared for by their family.
The child is removed from their unstable home environment and placed in the care of a relative or unrelated foster parent who is usually a stranger. Foster care also includes group homes, emergency shelters, and supervised living.
Children Rely On Foster Parents To Make Them Feel Safe
Undoubtedly, the transition from a family home to a new one (potentially full of strangers) can be jarring for a child. The children rely on their foster parents to make them feel welcome for as long as they stay.
One new foster mom has gone viral after sharing the empathetic welcoming routine that she does for each foster child that is placed in her home.
Foster Mom Houses Teen Girls In Protective State Custody
In a series of TikTok videos, a 35-year-old woman named Brittany Burcham shares that she began fostering children in 2019 in her home state of Alabama.
Specifically, Brittany houses teenage girls who have been placed in protective state custody and removed from unstable or abusive homes.
Most Of The Children Are Scared And Distrustful
Many of the girls who come to Brittany's home as foster children are victims of physical and sexual abuse, making them wary of who they can trust.
In order to combat these anxieties, Brittany has figured out a calming routine that helps the girls settle into their new environment, starting the moment they arrive at her home.
Welcome Baskets Filled With Necessities Wait For Each Child
Brittany shared what the first night in her home would look like for an emergency foster placement in a video that has been viewed over 12 million times on TikTok alone.
The first step is putting together a personalized "welcome basket" for when the girls arrive. The baskets include things they may have forgotten while packing, including toiletries, deodorant, and a toothbrush.
"These Kids Aren't Trash. Their Clothes And Sentimental Items Aren't Trash"
It didn't take long for Brittany to notice that most of the children were arriving with the few possessions they had stuffed into trash bags along with their dirty laundry.
She added duffel bags to her list of welcome gifts, saying, "These kids aren't trash. Their clothes and sentimental items aren't trash. But we tell them to put them in trash bags when they move foster homes. That's just unacceptable to me. So, if a kid comes with trash bags, they leave with a nice big duffel bag that gives them the dignity they deserve."
A Public Setting Is More Comfortable For Getting To Know One Another
After the girls have settled in, Brittany takes them for a walk to a local Shake Shack for some food and a bit of a social ice breaker. She says having other people around and being in a public space makes the setting more casual for them to get to know one another.
When Shake Shack got wind of Brittany's story, they reached out to provide her with a gift card to cover all of the girls' first-night meals.
Brittany Focuses On Getting To Know Her Children, And Never Brings Up Their Past
On getting to know her new foster children, Brittany told Buzzfeed: "We talk about school, their best friends, favorite shows, and TikTok dances." She says she doesn't discuss the child's journey with foster care unless they bring it up themselves and want to talk about it.
You can watch Brittany's entire "first night routine" in the original TikTok video.
"Caring For Shower-Averse Teens In Foster Care"
In a follow-up video to the first night of an emergency placement, Brittany details the steps she takes to care for "shower-averse teen girls" in her care. The empathetic nature of the video resonated with millions of people, with her clip being viewed over 8.4 million times.
She explains that many of her foster girls have experienced sexual abuse and really don't like to take a shower. "Sometimes it was their way of trying to prevent the abuse, and sometimes it reflects how dirty they feel on the inside. Even though none of it was their fault."
It Does Not Erase The Trauma, But Many Girls Can Find Some Peace
"The first step is to run a hot bath for them. And then I bring Alexa in so that they can choose their music, whatever their preference may be. Then they get to select a bath bomb, I light some candles, then I invite them to relax.
"I make sure that they know they can lock the door behind me for privacy." She says while it does not erase the trauma they have experienced, many girls can find it peaceful.
"It Makes Them Feel Safe, Worthy, And Beautiful Inside And Out"
The comments section has been flooded with people sharing how they wish their own experiences in foster care could have brought them into contact with a woman like Brittany.
People have commended her for truly changing the lives of the children she encounters, providing them with the love and care they deserve as they navigate extraordinarily challenging chapters of their lives. Even if their time together is temporary, Brittany makes the most of every second for her foster children.
